A Perfect Gift From Grissom my Butterflies
by csiweberaz
Summary: What happens after Sara leaves Grissom? Only to recieve a call from Greg that Grissom is now engaged to Lady Heather. How will this effect Sara's new life? Will they somehow find their way back to each other? Only Butterflies can tell.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer, I do not own CSI or any of the characters I am merely borrowing them.

This story is set in Sara's point of view. What happens after she leaves Grissom?

Here I was Sara Sidle, I used to be a crime scene investigator but that time had long since passed. Now here I was almost forty it had been almost three years since I had left the confines of Vegas. Now here I was back in San Francisco on my home turf. Instead of an investigator I was now a teacher to college students in Forensic Science but first and foremost I was now a mother of twin two year olds.

I had left Grissom after he told me that we had grown apart. I didn't want to fess up to it all but I knew that time had changed us. I always thought that we could survive anything but I guess that I was wrong. After I left Vegas I had gone on a tour of the Galapagos Islands for around three months. While on that voyage I found myself. Early into the trip I had started feeling very nauseous and sick to my stomach. I first thought that I was just seasick or maybe it was just the food. However three months later when I returned I found out the truth. I had been pregnant the whole time and I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I think I didn't want to admit it because then I knew that I would have a permanent bond with Grissom for the rest of my life. Which I really did not want to have.

Particularly after Greg my best friend and brother told me that Grissom was now with Lady Heather and seemed quite happy. I have to admit that to me that was the most terrible news that I could have heard at that moment. Here the love of my life refused to come with me on this wonderful voyage. But he instead would rather be with Lady Heather than me.

Now ideas started popping into my head right and left. I was jealous and very no extremely angry! My Fiancée the one man that I had loved my entire life whom I had to practically force to love me now was with a tramp. I was still very much in love with Grissom. I had no plans of dating anyone else much less being with anyone else.

Well I found out that after three months of being on a wonderful adventure. I came home and had to face reality. I went to the doctor and he confirmed my worse fears that I was four months pregnant. Not just with one baby no of course not life was never easy for me. Grissom and I had created two little bundles of joy.

For eight months I carried those little bundles around. They were my little secret. Greg and I still stayed in contact through phone calls and email but I never told him the news. I knew that if I did he would only tell Grissom and then that would just add to my pain.

See I was selfish I figured since Grissom was with Heather then he didn't deserve to know about our children. I figured that the twins were his one gift to me. I did not want to get into some custody battle between him and Lady Heather. I knew how much she loved children and I feared her taking mine.

I have to admit that at first I was not at all fond of the idea of becoming a mother. But one look at those innocent and precious little faces and I was hooked. I was completely in love with my babies.

The first one that came into the world was Maxwell Gilbert Grissom I call him Max for short. He came into the world one month early weighing in at four pounds ten ounces and seventeen inches long. He looks a lot like me and Grissom. He has my big brown eyes Grissom's little nose and chin. He has dark brown curly hair and he has very long arms and legs just like me.

Next Madalyn Marie Grissom came into the world weighing in at four pounds even and only sixteen inches long. She looks exactly like her father. Big blue eyes tiny little nose those pouty lips and that round face but she has my chin. I am proud of that feature. She also has dark brown curly locks and long brown eyelashes. I call her Maddy for short. She is short and stubby just like her father. Even her personality is just like his.

My life was just finally starting to feel complete. My babies were now almost three years old and had given me the greatest joy in my life. It is funny how becoming a mother can change a person. I admit that I have grown up immensely I am not selfish anymore those days are long gone like the tide. Having children has taught me the value of becoming patient and even kind. Yes I admit it I Sara Sidle have become patient and kind.

I love waking up in the morning to two little children bouncing on the bed screaming "Mommy, Mommy wake up we want breakast". In their two year old language. Or Mommy Mommy, ook it it's a goggy. Or "No, I don wanna take a nap I not tired. Even though I know that they are.

Max and Maddy are extremely close they even have their own crazy language that they speak to each other that I don't even understand. They are the best of friends. I am sometimes jealous of them because my brother and I never got along that way. We always seemed to hate each other and now we don't even know each other.

The two are completely inseparable they actually remind me of how Grissom and I used to be. We used to be able to complete each others sentences. Or be able to look at one another without saying a word know what each other is feeling. I miss the days of coming home lying on the bed in utter silence and wrapping me arms around him and feeling completely safe. Grissom was the only man that ever seemed to understand how I felt and where I came from.

Now that the children are getting older their personalities are coming around even more. Max is much more like me he is shy but not afraid to tell people how he feels. He is not good at hiding his feelings. I can tell how he feels the moment I look into those large chocolate orbs and see right into his little perfect soul. Yet there are moments when he gets so emotional about things. He knows that he is right no one else is. He knows exactly what he says and he means it with all his heart. He is also very stubborn just like his mother.

Now Maddy on the other hand is exactly like Grissom. She loves bugs she is infatuated with them. She hides her feelings from me. She is very quiet and very shy. Yet there are moments when she will say something that will catch me completely off guard. Sometimes it is hard to believe that she is only a two year old. She is wise beyond her years. She becomes obsessed and engaged in things that you would only think an eight year old could do. She has already started to read bug books. She knows the entire alphabet by heart and sings to her hearts content. She loves music and is quite the little dancer.

Now that years have past I am extremely content in my new role of mother hood. I must admit that I am lonely in the Romance department but the children keep me just enough company to make me feel happy. I love my new job. I teach night school to a bunch of lonely college students who signed up for the odd night schedule. I find that by teaching at night I get to spend all day with my two little butterflies.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two typical days

It was a typical day as always in the Sidle Grissom household. I kept Grissom's last name for Max and Maddy because he indeed was their father and I wanted them to know of their father one day. I might not be happy with the way things were between him and me but I wanted them to know that their father was a good and decent man.

I had just gotten up and was getting breakfast ready for the day. My two Butterflies were not up yet so I went to the nursery and curled up in one bed instead of two. I spotted two sleepy children wrapped up in each others arms like the best of friends. I patted each one of their little butts and told them that breakfast was ready. "otay momma, Maddy replied." "I not ready to get up yet I tired!" Max shouted at me. "Well, little man you either get up now or Maddy and I will just have to eat your pancakes." "Yummy Mommy, I want Max's pancakes." Maddy clapped her hands together with joy. "No, Maddy my cakes, not yours!" stated Max. "Okay, guys enough fighting already there are enough pancakes for everyone." I said.

The three of us headed down to the small happy kitchen and started eating our pancakes. "So Momma, when are we going to meet Daddy" said Max. "Yeah, I wanna meet Daddy too" shouted Maddy. "Wooh guys, I said hold on a minute who said anything about a Daddy. "You don't have to have a Daddy to be a family." "I don't have a Daddy, Just grandma." I said. "Yeah but your Daddy died said Max" "Mommy, did our Daddy die too? Maddy said. "No Maddy your Daddy did not die he is well and alive." "He just didn't want to be with Mommy." "So that is why we are here together as a family because Mommy loves you and that is that."

"Mommy, please tell us the story of you and Daddy" Maddy whispered quietly. I think that was the hardest thing that I have ever heard come from my two year olds mouth. Maddy was not one to talk about her feelings much but here she was asking me about her daddy. I never even thought that this subject would come up much less at the age of two. "Okay Maddy, I will tell you about Daddy but only once okay." "Alright they both said." We all gathered in the living room on the small old sofa and that is where I began my story of Mama Butterfly and Daddy Butterfly

Once upon a time there were two large butterflies that lived on an old college campus called Harvard. The biggest butterfly was a teacher that taught about science and bugs and that is where the big butterfly met the smaller butterfly. "Mommy what was the big butterfly's name?" Max asked.

Well Max the Big butterflies name was Gilbert Aaron Grissom and the Small butterflies name was Sara Elizabeth Sidle. "Mommy isn't that your name?" Maddy asked. "Yes Maddy that is my name.

So anyway the small butterfly named Sara became the big butterfly's student. They were very happy together and became very close friends. Soon the big butterfly had to go home to a place called Las Vegas and so he kissed the small butterfly on the lips and flew off into the sunset back to Vegas.

Soon after a few years the two butterflies had kept in contact by writing and calling and getting together on holidays. But after two years the big butterfly finally asked the small butterfly to come and be with him so the small butterfly named Sara flew off to Las Vegas and met up with her best friend Gil the big butterfly.

Soon the two butterflies started working together at the Las Vegas Crime Lab they solved crimes all over of viscous and mean criminals. After five years of working together. The big butterfly finally asked the small butterfly out and they started dating. Soon the two butterflies fell in love with each other and were very happy.

Then one day an evil Black Widow spider came and took Sara, the small butterfly away from the big butterfly. "Mommy did the spider hurt you?" Max asked. His eyes were huge with worry. "Yes Max the mean spider hurt the small butterfly." But the big butterfly named Gil came and rescued the small butterfly Sara and she was okay.

Soon though Sara the small butterfly realized that she could no longer work the same job anymore because she was not happy. She was tired of being around mean evil spiders so she decided to quit and come live by Grandma Butterfly. The big butterfly was sad but he knew that it was best for the small butterfly. The two continued to call each other and even visited once. The big butterfly asked the small butterfly to marry him and stay with him. But the small butterfly could not she was much happier with Grandma Butterfly. She did not want to be anywhere around any of the mean spiders. So Sara, the small butterfly asked Gil the big butterfly to come and live with her but he said that he couldn't.

Soon Sara the small butterfly found out she was pregnant with twin butterfly babies Max and Maddy and she was very happy. However, Gil the big butterfly found another butterfly that was very beautiful and made him happy so he decided to live with her instead.

So the big butterfly gave Sara the small butterfly the greatest gift of all by letting her become a mommy of two beautiful baby butterflies and he was happy too with his new butterfly. So see now all of the butterflies are very happy indeed the end. Sara said.

But why can't we go and see Daddy? Maddy asked. "Because Maddy I have enough love for the both of you now come on lets go and get these dishes cleaned up. I don't want to hear anymore about Daddy we are all very happy. I was having a hard time that day explaining to my own children that they could not see their father. I didn't dare tell them the truth that he didn't even know about them. What if he did find out about them would he take them away? Would he be angry at me? I didn't know and at that point I didn't give a damn what he thought.

He had the Gall to choose Heather over me that was all I needed to know. If I had it my way he would never find out about the children never.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three Old news travels fast

A few more months passed by without any news from Vegas. I missed Greg a lot we chatted back and forth by email a lot. He was like my own brother. Then that wonderful day in April happened when he told me that he was engaged to be married and he asked me to come to his wedding. I must say I was very excited for him and his news. But the thought of traveling back to Vegas and seeing Grissom was just something I did not want to do. I would never leave my two year olds for two weeks even with their Grandmother. I knew that I had to be there to support Greg and his new bride but I was not excited at all to see Grissom and Heather together. The thought sickened me. 

Greg had called and told me that the wedding was in a week and that I needed to be there a day before the wedding I was supposed to be one of the bridesmaids. I hated weddings ever since Grissom and I had gotten engaged and then just blown each other off they frightened me. It seemed to me that no one who was married was ever happy. I mean look at Warrick and Tina, and also Eddie and Catherine. Did anyone ever survive the confines of marriage? I gathered the twins up and we drove the three miles over to my mother's house if I was going to go so was she. There was no way in Hell that I was going to bring my babies out in the open like that and pretend that everything was okay. I knew that all it would take is just one look at them from Nick, Catherine, Greg or Grissom and everyone would know my deepest secret. Max looked a little bit liked Grissom. But Maddy, Maddy was a total different story she looked exactly like him. She walked like him and even talked like him. Her eyes and her attitude was enough of an image to even scare off the slightest doubter. No Maddy and Max would be going nowhere near that wedding. But I was not going to leave them either so I guess for the next two weeks Grandma and the twins would be spending fun filled days at some resort off the strip the farther away from Grissom and Heather the better. 

"Mom how are you doing?" "Fine Sara, how about you what brings you here all of a sudden?" "I don't usually see you until the evening." "Well mom, I have a favor to ask." "My friend Greg is getting married in Vegas and he has asked me to come and be one of the brides maids." "I want to go mom I really do, but I don't want to leave the twins alone for two weeks." "Why two weeks Sara?" "Because mom it has been the longest time since I have gotten to see any of them and I want to spend some time with Greg, Nick and Catherine." 

"Greg's fiancée just had a new baby and he wants me to watch him while they are gone on their honeymoon." "I told him I would do it mom he has always been there for me." "Does he know about Max and Maddy, Sara?" "No mom and I want it to stay that way." 

"No one in Vegas is to ever know of Max and Maddy if they did they would take them away from me." "How do you know that Sara, I thought they were your friends?" "I don't know for sure but I do know that they all care deeply for Grissom and there is no way he can find out about them." "He would take them away in a heart beat mom."

"Sara, for loving him it is sad that you don't trust him enough to be a father to those kids." "They really need him Sara; please don't make the same mistakes that I did." "Mom, it is not Grissom that I don't trust it is Heather she just has a way about her mom." "I don't know what he sees' in her but I don't want her anywhere near my children mom." 

"Okay, Sara, calm down its okay, I will come with you but only on one condition." "What is that mom?" "That you promise me that you will be staying with us I cannot at seventy years old take care of twin two year olds for two weeks by myself." "Okay mom, I will stay with you I am sure Greg will understand." "I guess he will just have too.

I packed up the kids and brought them back home. I fixed them dinner bathed them and put them to bed. I was getting packed for my dreaded trip to Vegas. All I could think about was how much I missed Grissom. I wished so much that he could be with me. If he could only see these adorable little kids he would fall in love with him. I thought of what he would say to Maddy as she followed him around with a lab coat draped over her self and play glasses on pretending to be just like him. What would he do when Max would ask him to come and play catch with him in the back yard? I bet Grissom had never even thought of having a family. Here I was Sara Sidle keeping the biggest secret of my life from him. I bet if he knew the kids he would love them just as much as I did having children was such an important part of my life now. Did I have any right keeping it from him?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four the Trip to Vegas

My mother and I were getting the Van all ready to go. We had packed every toy and blanket and piece of clothing from the house that I think we owned. Every time I would tell Max and Maddy that they didn't need a specific toy or outfit they would start whining and crying and then I would just take pity and throw it in the car. I had just gotten the door to the house locked and the kids in their Car seats and we would soon be on our way.

"Mommy why can't we fly, asked Max." "Yeah Mamma I wanna fly to was fegas added Maddy." "I am sorry you two but I cannot afford a plane trip for four it is just too expensive." "Besides this will be fun anyway we get to stop by and see some of the sites along the way." "Are we gonna stay in a big amongous hotel? Asked Maddy." "Yes Maddy we are going to stay at the new resort by Circus Circus it will be lots of fun!" "Wow, momma we get to see a real huge circus? Asked Max with elephants and everything." "Yes Max with elephants and everything." "Now, no more questions or we will just stay here." "Okay! They both shouted." I now knew that I was on a road trip to Hell and there was no going back.

We had been on the road for about five hours when the twins were finally asleep. My mother was sitting quietly beside me in the front seat watching out the window. "A penny for your thoughts Sara?" "Well mom, I was just thinking back to all of the memories that I have in Vegas." "I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would become a mother of two adorable children and have such a great life in San Francisco. When I first left for Vegas I thought that I would be staying there forever. I am just proof that time has a way of changing people." "It does Sara, It does. "I didn't want to kill your father, or miss out on almost all of your childhood." "But I am so glad that I did choose to protect you Sara and that you have chosen to let me be a part of your life." "I love, Max and Maddy Sara like they were my own." "You are such a great mother Sara, so much stronger and wiser than I was."

"Oh Mom, I don't know about that. I do know however though that Grissom is a great man he would make such a wonderful father." "I really wish that he could be apart of their lives." "He can Sara, you just have to let him in and trust him." "Mom I don't trust him or Heather right now, I don't know what she is capable of." "If he knew that I had been pregnant and kept it a secret all of these years I don't know what he would do." "He has a tendency to not act rationally when he is not thinking clearly." "Neither do you Sara, you should have told him in the first place." "Okay mom, no more I don't want to talk about Grissom or Heather anymore." "OKay Sara my lips are closed."

My mother thankfully fell asleep within a half an hour of that dreaded conversation. I knew in some ways she was right and that I was just being selfish. I didn't want to share my children with another woman. The thought of them calling another woman mommy made me want to puke. Greg had already told me that Grissom and Heather were still involved and living together at that. That was way too much involvement for me or my children.

Finally after another four hours of questions from two year olds and my butt falling asleep we reached the resort. Wow it was so beautiful I had gotten a great rate on the hotel from Greg. He had told them that he worked for Vegas crime lab and that he wanted the honeymoon suite and they had given it too him half off. What a great way to spend a vacation. Lounging around by the pool, relaxing and reading a great book. Watching my twins running around excited that they got to see elephants. The whole thing just seemed to take on a life of its own.

My mother and I checked in at the desk and were escorted to our room. It was huge there were two bedrooms and a large dining room. The bathroom had a Jacuzzi tub big enough that the kids thought it was a swimming pool of course I just laughed. There was a full operating kitchen with a stove, fridge, and everything. That will help save money just go and buy groceries I thought. I was so tired that Max and Maddy were sharing one king sized bed with grandma and I was lucky enough to get a king sized bed of my own. It was so romantic; I started thinking of Grissom instantly. I put the kids and Grandma to bed and I just sat out on the balcony staring out into the lonely sea of lights coming from the strip.

Night time is when Vegas really came to life. People were hustling and bustling everywhere. I could hear two or three different types of music coming from different casinos. If you listened closely you could hear the plink, plunk coming from the coins being dropped into the slots of the machines everywhere around. The sounds were so familiar. I forgot about Vegas and all of the times that I had here.

Maybe life wasn't so bad here now what would it be like to work at the crime lab again with my friends and family. Could I return after being gone so long? But then I turned and looked across the room in the distance to the bed that held my precious children.

No Vegas was not where I wanted to raise them I would miss Frisco too much that was home now. Plus I loved my mother and my job. After a cool drink of coke I slipped under the cool sheets of my lonely King Sized bed and dreamt of Grissom holding me tightly keeping me safe from the crime in the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five meeting an old friend

Greg had come up to our suite just after I had gotten the twins dressed for their swimming party at the pool with Grandma. I hurried them outside and got dressed for the day. My mom had been so great to take care of the kids for me it was so nice to have the help that I needed. I put on a sundress that was red with white flowers. I did my hair up loosely in a ponytail with curls around my face and put on some lip gloss and mascara. I had aged but I still looked pretty good I hoped. The extra baby weight had come off easily with some walking and bike riding around the bay.

I opened the door up to reveal Greg. Wow he looked great time had actually changed him for the better I thought. He was wearing a leather jacket underneath he had a blue button up polo shirt and some black slacks. His hair was still spiky but looked very neat, trim and short. "Wow Greg you look great! I pulled him into a hug. He released me and then took a long look at me like he didn't recognize me. "Sara, you look Gorgeous! As always he said." "So what's up how are you doing? "I am fine Greg why don't we get out of here and go to lunch, I said". I was afraid of my mom bringing the twins back up from their swimming party.

I wanted so badly for Greg to meet them but I knew that all it would take is just one look at them and he would figure it out in a matter of minutes. "Sara slow down you seem like you are in a rush to get out of here." "They are treating you okay here aren't they?" "Yes, Greg I am sorry I am just so excited to see you and start catching up on things."

"Plus Greg, I hate to admit it but I am starving." "Well that is something that I thought I would never hear Sara Sidle say." "I am glad to hear that Sara now come on lets go to the parking garage and I will give you a ride to Frank's okay?" "Frank's Greg why are we going to Franks?" "Because Sara I invited the whole team to lunch I thought it would be a nice surprise for everyone to see you again and it would give us some time to catch up."

I started panicking I in no way was ready to confront Grissom not now maybe later but not now. "Greg is Grissom going to be there too?" "Yes Sara, the minute he heard lunch and your name in the same sentence he wanted to come too." "Greg I don't want to see him right now I am not ready yet!" "Sara, will you calm down please, it has been two years!" "Come on you have to get over it sometime!" "It is not like he is bringing Heather or anything."

"Alright Greg, but I swear if you say one word to Grissom about me or anything else I will kill you and hide your body!" "Just remember I still teach Forensic Science." "Alright Sara, I will not say a word." "But really you have to talk to him sometime he was once your best friend you know." "I know Greg you don't have to remind me."

Deep down inside I knew that Greg was right I mean what did I have to fear. It is not like I was bringing the kids with me or anything. I had left my purse back at the Hotel so there wouldn't be any hidden pictures or anything. Greg promised he was paying. Still what was I going to say to people when they asked me what I had been up to for two years? I didn't want to lie anymore I was so tired of keeping the secret. I was so proud of my children and I wanted to share all of the moments of motherhood with my friends. But I was still too scared of what might happen to let the cat out of the bag. So here I go I am going to meet Grissom again after two years what would he think?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six Lunch at Frank's

Greg finally pulled up to old diner Called Frank's. I couldn't believe that it still looked exactly the same. I guess some things never change. Memories started flooding back to me as I looked at the old diner. It was as if time had been frozen into that building. I got out of the Tahoe and walked into the diner. Greg held the door open for me well at least he was still a gentleman I thought. His fiancée is so lucky to get a man like him. I had never loved Greg like that. I loved him like a brother but still he was handsome and charming and a great catch for any girl.

We headed towards the same old table that we always sat at. Catherine and Nick were sitting there chatting away. Grissom must not have arrived yet because I didn't see him among the crowd. Thank God, I thought. Brass was sitting on the other side of the booth I could see the back of his bald head. He was sitting there sipping his coffee happily. Everyone looked a little bit older but still much the same as ever. 

Just as I went to sit down next to Brass Nick's eyes caught mine. "Wow, Sara, you look stunning!" "Frisco has been kind to you Sara very kind!" He pulled me into a big bear hug I had missed his bear hugs. "Oh Nick it is so good to see you I have missed you so much." Nick also was like an older brother to me tears started coming to my eyes as I sat in his arms. I had missed my family so much. There were so many things that I yearned to tell them. Too bad I couldn't. Catherine also stood up and acknowledged me. "Oh Sara it is so good to see you I can't believe we are all together again!" She also hugged me and I hugged her back. Then I sat down next to Jim and he put his arm around me. "Well cookie you look happy what's changed?" 

Everyone started chatting about cases that had come and gone. I told them about my new job as a professor at night teaching Forensic Science. How much I loved the hours and how my mother and I had caught up over the last two years and lived only three miles from each other. Just then I felt that same old feeling I knew that he was in the same room as I. So I quickly got up and told everyone that I had to use the bathroom and that I would be right back. Everyone seemed to buy it except Greg he knew what I was feeling and he just looked at me with those eyes. I still turned and ran straight for the women's restroom.

Here I was thirty seven years old a single mother of twins hiding out in a dirty women's restroom from a man that I used to once date. I felt like a teenager all over again. I thought that those feelings were supposed to disappear but I guess they never did. I Sara Sidle was doing what I was best at hiding. Just then I came out of the stall I spotted out of the corner of my eye a back window to the bathroom and it was open. Was it large enough for me to fit through? I didn't know but I walked over boosted my self up and to my delight I was indeed still skinny enough to fit through the window. I know I was acting like a chicken but I just couldn't face him. I had only caught one glimpse of him and now I was sitting here crying outside of a bathroom window. What in the Hell was wrong with me. At that moment I knew exactly what was wrong with me. I Sara Sidle was still very much in love with Gilbert Grissom and if I didn't get out of here soon the whole world would know my secret. So I stayed behind the diner flipped out my cell phone and called a cab to come and pick me up a block away from the diner and take me back to the hotel. I was just not ready to face him not yet.

Everyone was left sitting there at the booth when Grissom sat down. "So Greg where is Sara? He asked" "She went to the restroom she said she would be out in a minute." Everyone chatted happily amongst themselves and waited for their orders to come. Pretty soon everyone had completely forgotten about Sara and the restroom. Everyone that is except Grissom. 

"Where is she Greg? "Are you sure she even came with you?" "Yes Grissom I am sure that she came with me." "Look guys I will go and see if she is alright ok just calm down I am sure she is just feeling sick or something, Catherine said." So Catherine got up and went to the restroom and checked every stall to her surprise Sara was gone she had vanished. Then she spotted the open window and she looked through it and saw the footprints on the other side. 

"She is still in love with him, Catherine thought." Catherine walked back out to the table of waiting men. "Well, where is she Catherine?" "I don't know Gil she is gone?" "It looks like she climbed out the back window." "Why would she do that Catherine?" "Maybe she was afraid of seeing you Gil." "Why would she be afraid of me Catherine?" "I think she still loves you Gil." And with that thought Sara disappeared into the night and back to the safety of her hotel room leaving a very confused Grissom in her wake.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven facing your fears

The Next few days I just decided to hide out at the hotel and spend time with my kids. I had missed the fun they were having and I was really not up to facing everyone after running away. I don't know why I was feeling the way that I was but that is how I felt. The moment I caught a glimpse of Grissom the mere sight of him had almost dropped me to my knees. When he wasn't there to face I could handle the pain of not having him in my life. But when he was right there standing in front of me it was just too much. I choked up I felt like I couldn't breath so instead of facing my fear I ran away from it.

"So Sara how did the luncheon go the other day." "Oh it went fine mom it was great to see everyone again." Of course I had to lie. "Sara is there something you are not telling me?" "Yes mom, I am still in love with Grissom, there I said it are you happy that you know the truth." "I got scared and I ran away from him." "Sara what good is running it is time that you faced your fears." "Not only for yourself but for the sake of your children." "I know that you don't want to hear this again Sara but those children deserve to have a father." "Especially if he is as good of a man as you say he is." "He is a good man mom, but he chose to be with another woman not with me." "The moment he chose her he said goodbye to my life and everything in it including his children." "How can he say goodbye to someone he doesn't even know about Sara!! Come on you are not being fair to him or Max and Maddy." "It is time that you swallowed your pride Sara and got your priorities straight!" "You are a good mother Sara but you really need to learn how to open yourself up and accept the way that life is." "Mom!! You don't know Heather she is a slut and a tramp and I will not have her anywhere around my children!" "Sara no one said you have to have her around your children, just because Mr. Grissom is involved with her does not mean she has to be a part of Max and Maddy's life does it?" "I don't know mom I don't trust him or her as long as he is with her he might as well just stay away!" "Mom, I love him too much to watch him talk about her I just can't do it." Sara started sobbing Laura gathered her daughter in her arms and held her.

"Shh Sara, its okay I am sorry I didn't mean to upset you honey." "Everything is going to be okay Sara; I promise I will never let anyone take those kids away from you no matter what." "You promise mom?" "I promise Sara, I promise."

Sara decided she wanted to spend a quiet evening with her children. They popped popcorn and put on Cinderella and watched it together on the big screen. "Ma ma is that how you felt when you met daddy?" "Yes Maddy I felt like a princess I still feel like one when I am around him." "Mommy can we meet him someday?" "Maybe Max Maybe someday you can." The twins fell asleep in Sara's bed next to her she covered them up and snuggled up next to them. She may not have the man of her dreams but she still had the greatest gift that Grissom had ever given her the gift of her butterflies.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter nine Back in the Field

It had been a few days since that fateful day at Frank's diner. I had thought a lot about what had happened that day and my feelings for Grissom. I decided that if he could get over me and move on then so could I. Just then the phone rang it was four in the afternoon and I had just finished putting the twins down for their nap. My mom was in the other room cooking dinner and I was getting changed out of my swimming suit into something a little more comfortable for the evening.

"Hello, I said." "Hey Sara, how are you doing I hope that you are feeling better today." It was Greg calling. "Yes Greg I feel much better look I am really sorry about what happened I guess I was just shocked to see Grissom." "I haven't seen him in over two years Greg it just came as such a shock."

"Sara, its okay I understand completely look I was calling to ask you a favor Greg asked." "What is it Greg?" "Well Sara, I know that you haven't worked here at the crime lab for a long time but there has been a fourteen car pile up by Hoover damn." "Sara it is an extreme mess, we are loaded with injuries and casualties." "Catherine, Nick, Grissom, Riley and I are the only ones available and that is the whole shift." "Is there anyway you could come down and help out Sara, you are so good at your job." "You are still qualified you know." "Plus you will even get paid! Said Greg."

"Wow that actually kind of sounds exciting Greg it has been a long time since I have been out in the field." "No I don't mind coming and helping out but just let me talk to my mom first and ask her if its okay if I go Sara said."

"You sound like a teenager asking if you have your mommy's permission to go out on a date Greg commented." "Look Greg, I promised my mom that I was going to take her out to dinner tonight so just cut the crap." "I don't need her permission to do anything." "Sorry, Sara, I guess that sounded kind of rude." "Yes Greg you did sound very rude."

I asked my mom if she could watch the twins since even Greg didn't know about them yet she said that it would be fine. I felt kind of guilty not telling Greg about them but I knew that I had to protect them. I walked back over to the phone picked it up and held it up to my ear. "Are you still there Greg? I asked." "Yes Sara, I am still here so are you coming or not?" "Yes Greg I will be there shortly see you soon." "Okay Sara sounds great it will be like old times take care bye."

I quickly hung up the phone and started pacing back and forth. I really did want to help everyone out plus it would be nice to work with the team again. So I put on some jeans and a t shirt pulled my hair back in a pony tail and drove my way out to Hoover Damn to survey the damage.

The roads were a muddy mess. It had been raining very heavily outside. Flash floods are very common occurrences in the desert. It looked like the whole road had been flooded out. Somehow I managed to crawl my way up to where the scene of the accident was. One look was all it took to see just how bad it was one car had gone over the edge of the bridge and thirteen other cars had slid into each other creating a huge mess. It looked like their were at least five people dead from what I saw by the stretchers. I got out of my car and headed over to where Greg was standing.

"Geeze Greg you weren't kidding this is awful it looks like a car massacre out here." "Well Sara, luckily only five people died it could have been much worse seven people have severe injuries and three people are in stable condition." "We are just trying to figure out what exactly happened."

"Here is your old Vest Sara you better put it on." Greg handed me my old vest I could hardly believe that they had kept it they had even sewn a new name tag on it for me. "Thanks Greg it is nice to feel welcome." "You are always welcome here Sara, Greg said" "So what do you want me to do Greg?" "Well why don't you start photographing the tire tracks at least what is left of them before the rain washes them out any worse." "Accident or no accident we still have to document what happened, Greg said" So I pulled out the camera he handed me and I started taking photographs.

The scene looked to me like just a really bad flash flood no one was at fault. It was sad when Mother Nature could wreak havoc on so many innocent people. After taking the photographs I started interviewing the individuals in the wreck to see what they could remember. I needed to get an accurate account of exactly what had happened.

After nine hours of processing the scene I was exhausted I hadn't seen any sign of Grissom anywhere. Catherine and I had compared our evidence and log books. I met Riley and discovered she was a very good investigator and a very nice person. I could even picture myself becoming friends with her. Nick, Greg, Catherine and I pulled out the mugs of hot coffee and sat on the tailgate of one of the Tahoe's.

"Wow, I forgot how exhilarating that can feel to be out here solving crimes!" "I have really missed you guys a lot!" Catherine looked up from her steaming cup of coffee and said "You know Sara, we could always use another investigator it sure would be nice to have you back!" "Well Catherine I will think about it, I have a great job in San Francisco and I really hate to pick up and move again. But I promise I will give it some thought." "Good Sara, Nick said it is about time you did."

We all were beat after a long shift the guys talked me in to going back to the lab to help finish up processing the evidence and to take a nice hot shower. I was afraid I would see Grissom there but I decided at this point who cares. I have a life to live to it is not like seeing him is going to change anything.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine caught with my pants down

After I had gotten done processing all of the evidence from the fifteen car pile up I decided that before I went home I was going to need a shower. I gathered up some clean coveralls a couple towels shampoo, soap and conditioner and I headed to the shower stalls.

I loved the feel of the hot water cascading down my back. My hair was completely encrusted with mud and sludge from the floods that we had been working through. Then I thought I heard someone else in the stall next to me get into the shower also. I listened as I heard the water running now the shower stalls were co-ed luckily each stall was separate and enclosed with doors so that one could have complete privacy. For some reason I just had that familiar feeling again. It was what I called the Grissom feeling I was always very aware when he was around. I think that it was because I had such strong feelings for him.

I listened quietly as I could hear him humming a familiar tune in the stall next to me. I knew that tune very well he always hummed that same tune when ever he showered I guess it was kind of his thing to do in the shower. He was a very repetitive person. I decided that since I was so close to him I was just going to quietly listen and enjoy those familiar feelings while I had the chance. I knew that the moment I saw him it would become awkward and I would probably feel the urge to run away again so I just listened. For ten minutes I listened and pictured him the way that I remembered him. I remembered those big blue eyes, those pouty lips and that curly gray hair. I remembered the way he smelled of old spice and aftershave after he was done showering. I even remembered the feel of his soft skin next to mine when he would hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright.

Gilbert Grissom was the only man that I love and have ever loved. I sat thinking about the twins how Max would give me that little smirk every morning when he would get up just like his daddy. Maddy with her walk and talk every little thing she did reminded me of him except her long curly locks and her long dark eyelashes those features came from me. Who would have thought that two people together could create such perfect and sweet loving children?

I started to tear up I was thinking and crying at the same time. I yearned so much to share my life with him again. I ached for him to hold me just one more time to kiss me and make sweet passionate love to me like we used to. I miss the silent moments when we would just sit in bed next to each other in the darkness of the night and be perfectly happy just being next to each other.

I decided that before I started bawling I had better get out before he heard me so I wrapped my towel around me and trudged off towards the locker room. I thought I was alone when to my utter shock I felt that feeling again. He was behind me staring at me I could feel the burning of his blue eyes. Great just great I was stark naked I had just dropped my towel when I heard the door open and shut.

I heard a little chuckle coming from him and without even thinking I immediately turned around. I Sara Sidle could never be outdone by Gilbert Grissom. So there I was completely naked with his eyes staring into mine. "Wow, Sara, I wanted to get to talk to you while you were here but I never thought I would get to meet you this way looking so incredibly sexy I might add."

And again there was that little smirk that I saw every morning and every night except this time it was from the elder instead of my youngster. "Yeah laugh it up buddy it is nothing you haven't seen before!" "You know you could have given me a warning or something Griss!" I couldn't believe that to my utter shock I was still completely comfortable with him seeing me this way it was like time had stood still.

"Well believe it or not Sara, I didn't know you were here, if I did I would have given you a warning." "But anyway you still look great time has not aged you at all." I have to admit coming from any other man that would have been very embarrassing but coming out of Gilbert Grissom's mouth that was about the best compliment that I had gotten in over two years. I started to blush and figured I better hurry and get out of there before I grabbed him and kissed him right then and there. "Well Griss it sure is nice to see you again it has been a long time." "I didn't know if I would ever get to see you again."

I grabbed my clean coveralls and slipped them on and was about to walk out of the room when he interrupted me yet again. "Umm Sara, not to be nosey or anything but where did you get that scar from across the front of your stomach? I don't recall ever seeing it before. Are you okay?"

Great just great he had to see my cesarean section scar that I had gotten from having the twins. "Oh it was just a minor surgery that I had, I had a hernia last year that is all I am doing fine; I replied hoping that would satisfy his curiosity." "Oh good, I am glad that you are okay Sara it was a pretty big scar, I know we are not together anymore but I will always care about you Sara."

I thought I was going to die now. I had to get out of there quickly before the tears started to fall. Did he have to remind me that we were not together anymore? Why are men so insensitive and such assholes I thought? "Yeah I care about you too Griss see ya later!" With that I grabbed my bag and got the hell out of there before I became an emotional wreck in front of the love of my life. Could he really be that clueless?

It was four a.m. and I knew that I had to get back to the hotel but instead I just sat there in the parking lot in my car crying like a stupid idiot. Why does that man always make me react like that? It had been over two years since we had last seen each other and still nothing had changed he still had that emotional pull on me. Just when I was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot there in the darkness he showed up again. I heard the wrapping on my window.

"Sara, roll down the window!" "No, I am not rolling down the window I am going back to my hotel!" "Please Sara, what is wrong?" He said it so gently like he was afraid I was going to break down in front of him. "NO! I yelled again. "GOODBYE GRISSOM!"

He had embarrassed me enough for one night. If I spent one more moment around him I might just end up confessing my true feelings to him and that is not what I wanted to do. I was embarrassed enough there was no way in hell that I was going to admit that I was not over him. So I put my foot on the gas and sped off into the night again leaving a very confused Grissom in my wake.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten Thank heavens for little girls

I finally arrived back at the suite at around five a.m. I quietly opened the door and walked into my room and set my stuff down. There sitting up in my king sized bed was my little two year old girl Maddy. "Momma u finawee home?" "Yes, baby I am here how are you feeling?" "Fine momma I was just missin you." "Oh Maddy I missed you too it has been such a long day." I scooped the little girl in my arms and just held her close.

"Momma have you been cryin?" "Yes, I have Maddy how did you know?" "Because momma you stiw have tears on your cheeks." "Who made you cry momma?" "Daddy made me cry Maddy I got to talk to him today and I got sad because I miss him so much." "Momma do you think he would like Max and I?" "Oh Maddy of course he would love you!" "Don't worry baby I love you too." "Now go and get back into bed okay baby?" "Ok momma, she replied and she snuggled under the covers and closed her big blue eyes.

I don't know how that little girl does it but she always makes me feel better. Maddy has such a sweet spirit to her she is so fun and loving. She always seems to be such a happy little soul. Max is more like me he gets worried about things more and always tries so hard to be perfect. I love watching him figure things out and watching him grow. At that moment all I could think of was thank heavens for little girls. Gilbert Grissom if you could hear me right now I would say thank you so much for my babies without them I would be very unhappy. I decided I had better get ready for bed so I climbed in bed pulled Maddy close and drifted off into a deep slumber.


	11. Chapter 11

Story update. This Story is going to be quite a long one probably around thirty or so chapters. It is all going to be set in Sara's point of view since she has not been on the show this season I thought it would be an interesting way to tell her story. It is going to get much more into how jealous she is of Lady Heather and Grissom being together and how clueless some men can be. When if all they would do is look up standing right before them is everything they need. Grissom will eventually meet his children and be very shocked and angry. I won't tell anymore just read and enjoy.

Chapter eleven the dinner party

Greg was getting married that weekend. It was April so the weather outside was beautiful and sunny except for the occasional rain storm. I had taken the twins to the zoo, and we had been to the mirage to see the white tigers. I was completely exhausted and so were they I hope. I had just got them down to nap when my cell phone started ringing again. It was Greg, "Hey Greg what's up are you getting ready for the big day?"

"Yeah, Sara I am totally stoked, look I invited everyone to come to a fancy dinner party tonight kind of like a pre-wedding bash. We are all meeting at the Luxor want to come?"

"Sure, Greg that sounds great do I need to dress formal or casual?"

"Well, I would say formal since we are having dinner and dancing Sara and bring a date if you can." "I gotta go Sara, but meet us there at seven p.m sharp ok dinner is on me."

"Alright Greg see ya at seven take care now."

"You too Sara, bye."

Well I guess it was time to do a little shopping I had brought a few dresses with me but nothing was fancy enough for the Luxor or dinner and dancing. So I again asked my mom if she would watch the kids for me while I went out and did a little shopping. She agreed that it was fine so I was on my way.

I went to the mall and started my search. So far nothing really appealed to me; I had never liked dressing up especially in an evening gown. Finally at Nordstrom's I found the perfect dress it was burgundy satin with spaghetti straps at the top it was v cut it showed a little cleavage but not too much. The skirt was free flowing and almost touched the floor. It was the most stunning dress I had ever seen. So I made my purchase and headed back to the hotel suite to get dressed for the evening.

When I walked in the door there in front of me was the most hilarious site. My twin two year olds were completely covered head to toe in spaghetti sauce it looked like world war two. Then I looked up and saw my mother she also was completely covered it was everywhere all over the walls and all over the floor.

"So Mom, what happened here? I asked in between chuckles." I couldn't contain myself it was so funny to see all three of them a total mess.

"Well, Sara, I tried to help feed them their dinner but they insisted on doing it themselves, however I think they got more on the floor and the walls than in their tummies."

"Momma, sketti is soo nummy, Maddy replied."

"Yeah Mom, sketti is excellent Max said."

Max talked better than Maddy but it still was so funny. Then before I could say anything the two of them came running up to me and gave me a big spaghetti covered hug. "Well I guess we all need a bath now I laughed."

I took the twins and the three of us jumped in the shower together. Finally after a nice long shower we were all clean and presentable. I was getting dressed in my dress. I did my hair up in a French twist and left some ringlets loose around my face. I put on a ruby necklace and earrings to match my dress.

I touched up my make up with some burgundy lip gloss and mascara and a little blush. "Wow, I thought I look pretty good for being almost forty. Maddy just stared at me in awe. "What's wrong baby?" "Nuttin momma you just wook beautiful, you wook like a princess momma." "Thank you Maddy that is a very nice thing to say." "Now why don't you go join Grandma and Max and watch that movie you were talking about!" The little girl ran into the living area and sat down next to Max and Grandma and stared at the movie intently.

I grabbed my wrap and purse and headed out to the cab I had called for myself. I felt very lonely since I didn't have a date. But at least I would get to be with some of my closest friends.

Finally I arrived at the Luxor only to be greeted by Jim Brass one of my closest friends. "Wow, Cookie you look absolutely stunning! So where is your date? He replied."

"Well Jim, I didn't bring a date I haven't been on a date in over two years, I have been very busy with my career and all."

"Well Cookie I don't have a date either, why don't you join me and be my date? I would be honored."

"Wow, Jim thank you I feel much better now not so alone."

"Well Cookie looking like that no man is going to leave you alone long."

"Thank you Jim that is very sweet of you to say." I kissed him lightly on the cheek and we made our way up to the formal dining room to join everyone else. The dining room was amazing the food smelled so good I was actually excited to be here since Jim was now my date.

We walked hand in hand together up to the familiar crowd. Catherine was there in a stunning red dress looking sexy as always and she had brought one of the new detectives with her as her date.

Nick was there with Mandy they looked so happy together Greg had informed me that they had gotten married six months after I had left and they now had one little boy. Greg was there looking so happy finally with his new bride to be her name was Carrie she was the new DNA tech in the lab and Greg had fallen head over heals for her and they also had a new baby boy named Christopher.

Then in the back of the crowd I caught a glimpse of Grissom he was standing very close next to Heather with his arm draped around her shoulders and they were chatting away. They looked very happy together I had to admit that Heather was indeed beautiful with her long brown hair swept up into a ponytail and she had a knee length black dress that made her look stunning.

Grissom obviously was happy with her but it made me very depressed to watch him with her. I didn't know how long I could stomach watching the two so I decided that I would ignore them instead and chat with the rest of the crowd.

Dinner went by smoothly everyone seemed to be getting along all though I could swear that Grissom kept stealing looks at me. I tried not to think about it because I didn't need to be anymore depressed than I already was.

Finally the dancing had begun Grissom looked so sexy in his black tux it fit him perfectly. I watched as he took Heather's hand and led her out to the dance floor. I watched and they swayed slowly in time to the music. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, "Cookie would you like to dance? Jim asked." "Yes Jim I would love to thank you for asking."

We walked slowly out to the dance floor and started swaying slowly to the music I put my head on Jim's shoulder and watched as Grissom led Heather around. It was all becoming too much for me I wanted to puke. I still loved him so much if I didn't leave soon the whole world would know.

Finally the song ended and Jim and I headed back to our table. I was just getting my purse to go when again I felt another tap on my shoulder. However this time I had the Grissom feeling I knew without even looking that it was him. What did he want I wondered? "Sara, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?"

I was completely breathless why in the hell would he want to dance with me when he had her here. "I don't know Griss don't you want to dance with your date?"

"I already did Sara, besides Jim is dancing with her now, please Sara dance with me?" "Okay, just this once Griss and then I have to go." I took his hand as he led me out to the dance floor.

The music again started except this time I could feel burning desire all over my body. One touch from him is all I needed to send me over the top. We fit so perfectly together as we swayed to the music then he stepped closer and pulled me near to him. He started rubbing his hand up and down my back like he used to and I couldn't resist putting me head on his chest. It all felt so right in that moment. Then he did the unspeakable he whispered my name in my ear and put his finger under my chin and lifted my face up to his. I couldn't help it I looked in his eyes. There staring back at me were the most brilliant blue eyes that I had ever seen. He was so handsome and so charming I was still so utterly in love with him.

I could feel everyone's gaze on us as we continued to sway to the music. Did he feel it too? Why was he doing this to me? "Sara, you look so beautiful tonight I forgot how pretty you are." Tears started flowing down my cheeks as he whispered the words to me. He put his forehead next to mine and we continued to dance like that until the music stopped.

Then before I could even think he led me off the dance floor and back to my table like nothing happened. He left me sitting there alone and sat down next to Heather like he was oblivious to it all. Then I heard a clink of two glasses together and a familiar voice started to speak. "Everyone I would like to make an important announcement please!" It was Grissom what kind of announcement was he going to make now. I needed to get out of there before I threw up all over the floor. "Everyone I would just like to say that Heather and I are engaged to be married and we would like all of you to come to our wedding."

That was all it took before I knew it I lost my dinner all over the floor. How embarrassing, everyone started to rush over and ask if I was ok. Instead of answering them I bolted I started running faster than I had ever run in heels before. I had to get out of there before I made anymore mistakes.

I got to the elevator and pushed the button down I flipped out my cell phone and called a cab to take me back to the hotel since I had left the car there. I decided that it was best to catch the cab about a block away so that I could get a little air I didn't need Grissom following me in all of my foolishness.

As I walked down the street tears started flowing down my cheeks what an idiot I was. To think that Grissom was even remotely interested in me was a stupid idea. I finally got to the block where the cab was to meet me and I just sat there feeling very defeated.

How could he marry her, it was not fair I was the mother of his children. I had everything that he would ever want and more the only problem was is he didn't know that and I still wanted to keep it that way.

Just because I had Max and Maddy didn't mean that he would even want me. If he knew about them he and Heather would fight me for custody and I would never see them again. I didn't know if this was true but I wasn't about to let it happen. So I got into the cab and rode off into the night to meet my little family.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve hiding in Bed

The next few days, my kids probably thought I was insane. I spent most of the day hibernating in my room eating ice cream and watching old movies. The kind where the guy always goes for the right girl. I know I didn't have any right to feel that way but damnit I was the right girl for that idiot. My mother finally knocked on the door. "Sara, I think we need to talk, I just got the twins down for their naps now come out before I call the police."

"Ok mom I'm coming what do you want?"

"Sara, why are you so upset, you are so beautiful there are tons of guys out there that would be lucky to have you."

"Yes Mom, but they are not Grissom and I don't want anyone but Grissom."

"Then maybe you should get off your ass and go tell him so."

"Mom he just announced that he is getting married to Heather why in the world would he want me?"

"First of all Sara, you are an incredible person, you are smart, funny and beautiful." "Second of all you are the mother of his children Sara what more can he ask for?"

"Mom if he wanted me he would have told me so." "I don't want him to feel obligated to be with me just because of the twins that is pathetic."

"It maybe pathetic Sara, but those are his kids' do you really think he wants to miss out on their entire life?"

"I am afraid if I tell him he will try and take them away from me and want full custody. The thought of having Heather around them makes me want to scream."

"Ok Sara, then I don't know what more I can say it is up to you now, if you want him then go get him." "If you don't then just keep sitting here and Waller in your own misery there is nothing else I can say or do to change things for you dear."

With that my mother slammed the door in my face and walked off. Well I guess I deserved it I was being totally stupid. Tomorrow Greg was getting married and I would be tending his little boy Christopher for a week while he was on his honeymoon. The thought of spending one more week in the confines of Vegas depressed me. I decided I better get off my butt and start living because one way or another I was still a mother and those kids needed me.

The rest of the day I spent taking care of the kids I had forgotten how fun they could be. We went to the park and got some ice cream afterward. The fresh air was just what I needed. I had already been fitted for my bride's maid dress thank god. I didn't think I needed anymore shopping trips for awhile. That night after dinner I tucked the little ones into bed read them a story and then headed off to the balcony to do some soul searching.

Tomorrow I was going to have to see Grissom again whether I wanted to or not. I decided that it was time that everyone knew of my beautiful children. I was tired of hiding them from everyone I deserved to feel proud of myself for something. My kids were utterly adorable and I loved them dearly. Whether Grissom found out or not he was not going to take them away from me I wouldn't let it happen.

I was going to face my fears once and for all and put all of the silliness aside. After all I was an adult and a mother and a good mother too. I was happy with my little family I had them and they had me what else did I need. It was like I told Maddy before I have enough love for all of us.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen a perfect day

That morning before my mother and the kids got up; I decided that they were going to come with me to the wedding. What did I have to loose? I was tired of being alone all the time I just wanted to be with my family out in the open no more secrets no more lies. Just me, Max, Maddy and my mother a perfect little family. 

Therefore, I went to the mall again and I picked out a darling little sapphire blue dress for Maddy that matched the color of mine. Then I went to the boys department and picked out a dress shirt and a little tie, and slacks for Max. I even splurged and bought my mother a new dress. Now she could not say she had nothing to wear she would have to come with me. I was feeling much better today I think that my mother had finally gotten through to me. It was nice to finally feel like I had a mother who cared.

I drove back to the hotel and entered the suite with my new purchases. "Wow Sara, you look happy today, my mother said."

"You know what mom, I am happy you are all coming with me to the wedding I got clothes for everyone."

"Really, mamma, we get to go too? Asked Maddy"

"Wow, I'm going to look so handsome, said Max."

"Yes we are all going together as a family now come on lets get ready before we are late, Sara replied."

Sara got Maddy and herself ready for the big day. Sara's dress was sapphire blue it was long and slim cut and had a slit on the side of the leg a bow tied in the front around her waist and it fit perfectly over her shoulders. Sara had always liked blue. She did Maddy's dark curly hair into little pigtails and put a blue bow in each one. "I wook so petty momma." "Yes you do Maddy like a princess." 

Sara met her mom and Max in the other room and they all got ready to go to the wedding. "Wow Max you look so handsome let me comb your hair for you." "Do I hafta mommy yes you have to son now come here." Sara was extremely nervous she did not know what to expect out of today but at this point she did not care. If Grissom could be happy then so could she.

They all piled into Sara's car and drove off to the church where Greg and Carrie were to be married. The whole church was completely full of white lilies everywhere. Everything looked beautiful. Sara could hardly believe this was happening it had been so long since she had first met Greg and now here he was starting a family of his own.

Greg came up to Sara and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey thanks for coming sis it is good to have you here I couldn't do this without you Sara."

"Greg thank you so much for everything you really are like a brother to me I feel like I can tell you anything. You have been so supportive Greg even through the hard times."

"Greg there is some people I want you to meet."

"Really Sara, you brought a date?"

"No Greg, I brought my family come here."

"Greg this is my mother Laura Sidle, this is my son Maxwell, and my daughter Madalyn."

"Sara, when did you become a mother?"

"Two years ago Greg that is why I left I didn't want to raise these two cuties here."

"Well pleased to me you guys, you can call me Uncle Greg."

"Hi Uncle Greg Max and Maddy replied."

"Sara, they are so beautiful, is Grissom the father?"

"Because they look just like him."

"Yes, Greg, Grissom is the father but please don't say anything to him. He left me for Heather Greg that was his choice I am happy with the way things are I don't need his pity."

"Sara, I can't believe you haven't told him he would want to know."

"I know Greg I am going to tell him after the wedding please just let it be for now, please Greg?"

"Ok Sara, but promise me that you will tell him before you head back to San Francisco."

"I promise I will tell him Greg, one look is all he needs to know that they are his."

"Your right Sara, but sometimes Grissom doesn't always see things the way everyone else does." "I want you to be happy Sara no matter what."

"You too Greg I promise I will tell him when the timing is right."

"Ok Sara, I trust you now come on lets get the party started."

Sara and the rest of her family filed into the church and sat down. Sara had to go and get ready to walk down the isle but she wanted to make sure that Max, Maddy and her mother were ok first.

After everyone was seated, Sara left her family in the chapel and headed out to find Catherine, Mandy and Carrie so the service could begin. "Wow, Sara, you look beautiful in that dress Catherine said." "You too Catherine I cannot believe that I am almost forty and a brides maid, Sara replied." "Yeah me too said Mandy although I do like the dress we don't get to look this pretty everyday." "Yeah it is kind of nice isn't it, Sara said." "Oh and by the way Carrie you look Gorgeous, Catherine added." "Thank you for being my brides maids guys I couldn't do it without you, Carrie said." 

Just then, the wedding march began and everyone started lining up to walk down the aisle. First Catherine and Jim walked hand in hand down the aisle, followed by Mandy and Nick. Sara watched as Grissom went to take her hand. What would it feel like to be doing this for real, how would it feel if I was the bride. I could not stop thinking about how nice his hands felt holding mine.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter thirteen the cat is out of the bag

The wedding had been a beautiful service, Greg and Carrie looked so happy. Grissom had walked with me down the aisle and we had kept our eyes on each other the whole time Greg and Carrie were reciting their vows. I could almost imagine Grissom and me up there hand in hand reciting our own vows and completing our family. I knew that it was just a dream but it was nice while it lasted. Everyone gathered together and threw rice on Greg and Carrie as they walked their way to the limousine next was the reception. It was at the Luxor again and I was more nervous than I had ever been.

I hurried and greeted my mother and Max and Maddy before anyone saw us and I ushered them into the car. I wanted to get to the reception before any questions could be asked. It gave me a moment to compose myself before revealing the true identity of my beautiful children.

We reached the Luxor I parked the car in the parking garage and I took the children's hands and walked with them quietly towards the elevator. "Momma is it going to be a party like our birthday? Max asked." "Kind of we are going to eat a small dinner and do a little dancing, how does that sound Max?" "It sounds great momma I am so excited." "Me too Momma I can't wait to Dance! Squealed Maddy." My mom just rolled her eyes and we both laughed at how funny the kids could be sometimes.

We reached the dining room in no time and sat down to await the crowd. Catherine and her date came in first and sat down next to us. "Hey Sara, it looks like you made it just in time. "So who are these little cuties?"

"Well Catherine this is Max and this is Maddy my son and daughter."

"Wow Sara, I didn't know you were mom congratulations, so how old are they?"

"They are two almost three oh and by the way this is my mother Laura Sidle."

"Pleased to meet you Laura, you must be very proud of Sara they are such beautiful children."

"Yes I am Catherine; it is nice to meet you to by the way."

"Sara can we talk in private please?" Catherine grabbed my arm and whisked me off to the ladies room before I even had a chance to respond. Great I knew it just one look and the whole world would know that I had been hiding Gilbert Grissom's children away from him.

"Sara, you don't think I am stupid do you?"

"What do you mean Catherine I don't understand?"

"Don't you play dumb with me Sara; those kids are Grissom's aren't they?"

"Catherine, it is none of your business those kids are mine and that is all you need to know."

"Sara, all you have to do is look at them to tell they are yours and his I mean Maddy looks exactly like him."

"I am not blind Sara and neither is he."

"Look, Catherine they were a complete surprise I didn't know I was pregnant when he left me. I was going to tell him then Greg called and said that he was shacked up with Heather and I just couldn't face him it was too much at the time."

"So are you going to tell him tonight because if you don't he will find out one way or another." "Sara, if you don't tell him then I will."

"Catherine just calms down I planned on telling him tonight that is why I brought them. Do you really think I would be stupid enough not to tell him?"

"I don't know Sara; you haven't been honest with him so far."

"He hasn't been honest with me either Catherine, he told me to move on so I did." "I didn't want him to stay with me out of pity."

"Look Sara, I am sorry I know that I don't have any right to judge you. For all I know I might have done the same thing if I were in your shoes." "But please Sara for everyone's sake just tell him ok."

"Alright Catherine I will calm down ok."

We walked back to the table I am glad that Catherine at least didn't yell at me in front of everyone else. I wanted to tell Grissom but I wanted to do it alone. I didn't want everyone else to hear what I needed to say to him it was just too much. Then Nick walked up with Mandy "Hey Sara, who are these cuties?"

"Well Nick meet my son Max and my daughter Maddy they are two years old."

"Well congratulations Sara, I always knew that you would make a great mom." "So did anyone tell you they look just like Grissom?"

"Yes they do look like Grissom considering he is their father."

"Sara, is that why you left him so suddenly two years ago?"

"Yes Nick, he doesn't know yet and yes I am going to tell him so please close your mouth and just go along with it ok."

"Whatever Sara, it is your business not mine." "Hey have a great night Cupcake and don't let Grissom ruin your evening ok?"

"I won't Nick thank you for understanding."

"Anytime Sara anytime."

Nick and Mandy walked off and sat down at another table. That is one thing that I loved about Nick he tries not to stick his nose in other people's business unless he felt the need to. I still hadn't seen Grissom but by this time I didn't know if I wanted to. Everyone seemed to be having a great time. The constant banter of the room seemed very pleasant so far it was the perfect evening. Just then Grissom entered the room with Heather by his side. He seemed totally oblivious to me. I decided that he was going to have to make the first move I was tired of putting myself out and getting hurt.

The dancing started and again Jim and I danced a few he also learned of the twins and told me how happy he was for me. It seemed like maybe everything was going to end very nicely until I again had that familiar feeling and looked up to see two dark blue eyes looking into mine.

"Hello Sara, how are you tonight?" "You look beautiful by the way."

"Thank you Grissom I am doing fine how about you?"

"Well Sara, I am having a very nice evening it is nice to get to see Greg happy again." "So who are the two little ones?" Of course he would have to ask that question right at the end of the night.

"Well Grissom this is Maxwell Gilbert Grissom and this is Madalyn Marie Grissom they are my son and daughter."

"Your son and daughter?, it sounds like they are mine too Sara." "Would you mind telling me when all of this happened?" Now he just sounded completely angry I could tell that he was trying to hold it in in front of the children. So I calmly grabbed him by the hand and led him out of the room into the hallway.

"SARA HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" "HOW COULD YOU KEEP MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME FOR ALL OF THIS TIME!!" Now the angry Grissom had come out and I was completely petrified. I had never in my whole life heard him yell like that. I knew he would be angry but I never figured he would be this upset.

"Grissom please calm down, I was going to tell you and then Greg told me that you had moved on with Heather and I didn't want you to be with me out of pity." "I am doing fine on my own Gil, I have done a good job raising them I don't need you and I don't expect any money."

"SARA THAT IS NOT THE POINT!! THOSE ARE MY CHILDREN TOO I HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEM ALSO!" "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL SARA KNOWING THAT I HAVE MISSED TWO YEARS OF THEIR LIVES?"

"Grissom please lower your voice, I don't need the whole world to hear our conversation."

"Fine Sara, I will lower my voice but we created those children together you and me and I am not letting you get away with this façade any longer!"

"So what do you want me to do Grissom do you want me to just hand them over to you after two years raising them."

"No, Sara, I don't expect you to give them to me but they have a right to know that I am their father and that I love them very much."

"How can you love someone you don't even know Gil?"

"Sara, how can you even say that? They are just as much a part of me as they are of you." "Maddy looks just like me Sara did you think that I was too stupid not to notice?"

"No Grissom, I brought them with me because I wanted you to notice."

"I have been so lonely without you I want you to be a part of their lives."

"I don't just want to be a part of their lives Sara I want to be a part of yours also."

"Gil, you have Heather you don't need me you cannot have it both ways."

"So you just expect me to go on the same way like nothing has changed?" "You want me just to pretend that none of this every happened?"

"Gil, you didn't even know they existed until tonight why does it matter to you so much?" "You can see them whenever you want I will not stop you." "As long as they are living with me you are free to come and go as you like."

"Sara you live in San Francisco remember? That is almost seven hundred miles away." "When am I going to get the time to see them with my schedule the way it is."

"I don't know Gil, but I am not moving here just to suit your fancy." "Our whole life is back in San Francisco and that is where we are going to stay."

I turned and ran away from him as fast as I could go. I knew that he would want me to stay but I couldn't not with him being with Heather it was too much. So I grabbed the children at first they were afraid and started to ask me what I was doing. My mom grabbed their hands and led the way out of the room before a fight could happen. I led them out to the hallway where Grissom stood. "Max, Maddy this is your Daddy his name is Gilbert Grissom."

"Hi Daddy, I have waited so wong to see you I wook like you don't I, said Maddy in a small voice." Grissom bent down and took the little girl in his arms and held her tight like he was afraid she was going to vanish. Tears started coming out of his eyes onto his cheeks. I had never seen Grissom this emotional not even when Warrick had died.

"Oh Maddy, I have been waiting to meet you also, you are so pretty." "I can't believe how big you have gotten you look as pretty as a butterfly." "I love you butterfly."

"I wuv you too Daddy, I have missed you so much, Maddy said."

"Max look how big you are, you are so handsome and tall I bet you take good care of your mommy don't you? Grissom said."

"Yes Daddy I take good care of mommy and Grandma too." "Daddy, why are you crying? Max replied."

"Oh Max, I am just crying because I am so happy to finally meet you."

"Me too Daddy, I have missed you a lot said Max."

Grissom picked up the two small children and held them close they talked for a long time. He even played hide and go seek with them in the elevators. Soon it was time for us to go back to the hotel. It had been a long night for all of us. "Well guys, I hate to spoil the fun but we really have to be going, Sara said." "Momma do we have to go?" "Can't Daddy come with us Max asked?"

"No Max Daddy has to get back to Heather but he can come by later this week and visit ok?"

"Okay Momma, I will miss you Daddy Max replied."

"I will miss you too Max, and you also Butterfly said Grissom."

"Bye Grissom, Sara said."

"Goodbye Sara, We will be talking soon don't run off just yet, Grissom replied."

"I won't Grissom take care."

I picked up the two sleepy kids and then Grabbed Christopher Greg's son in his car seat and headed out to the car. The kids seemed to like Grissom a lot. I always knew that he would be a good father I just never expected it to happen like this. By the time we got to the car all three children were sound asleep and I drove off into the peaceful night. When we got back to the hotel my mother helped me put the twins and Christopher to bed then she headed off to sleep also.

I was still so amazed at seeing the kids with Grissom. It was funny how kids never cease to amaze you by how wonderful they can be. I was truly shocked to see how angry Grissom had been with me but at least now he knew the secret I had been dreading to tell him for two years. Maybe life wouldn't be so bad after all. I guess I will just have to wait for tomorrow to see what the future holds.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen Come away with me in the night

I was sitting in my bed watching another old movie. It had been one of the longest nights of my life. I still could not sleep. I kept thinking about everything Grissom had said. Did he really want to be with me still? Was there a chance that perhaps he loved me also? I tried not to think about it I really did I didn't need anymore disappointment but as much as I loved Grissom I just couldn't get him out of my mind.

The way that he had held his children so dearly. The look of love that he gave them before we left it was like an instant connection that he had with him. I knew that I felt it the moment I found out that I was pregnant with them. I had never fathomed that Grissom would feel it too. I had been very selfish keeping them away from him all of this time. I only hoped that one day he would forgive me and we could move forward with our lives.

I was just about to turn out the lights when I heard a faint knocking coming from the front door. Who would be here at this hour I thought? I was afraid to open the door so I peered out the peep hole. To my surprise there standing in my front doorway was Grissom looking very worn out and tired. What could he want now I thought? I hoped that he hadn't come to yell at me some more.

I quietly opened the door and peeked outside. "Hi, Grissom what are you doing here at this hour?"

"Sara, I couldn't stop thinking about you and the kids, I missed you all."

"I miss you too Grissom but it is three o clock in the morning the kids are asleep right now." "Couldn't you come back tomorrow?"

"Sara, I have a confession to make I didn't just come here to see the kids I came here to see you."

"Me, why me Grissom? Where is Heather?"

"I took her home Sara she was tired and wanted to get some sleep." "I tried to sleep Sara I really did but I can't stop thinking about you."

"Gil, I can't do this right now it is too much come back tomorrow please."

"Sara, please come with me there is something I want to show you."

"Grissom it is late I have to go now."

"No, Sara, come with me now, just this once stop thinking and follow me."

"Fine Grissom, but it better not take long the kids get up at eight."

"It won't Sara, just trust me okay?"

"Alright I trust you."

I took Grissom's hand I could not even imagine where he was taking me. I decided that for just one night I would go on his little adventure and just enjoy his company. He took me to his Tahoe and we climbed in. He drove off down the road.

After a twenty minute jaunt down the road we pulled up to the familiar townhouse that I had once called home with him.

"Grissom why did you bring me here? I don't want to see Heather." "Please take me home Grissom."

"Shh Sara, Heather doesn't live here this is our home Sara I haven't been back here since you left."

He completely took me by surprise with that statement. I took his hand and walked up the familiar walk way. He stuck the key in the door and the familiar smells and pictures invaded my mind. We walked in together nothing had changed since the last time I left. Everything was exactly how it had been two years ago. It was like stepping back in time and reliving the past. I didn't know if I could take anymore. How much more pain could this man cause me. I didn't want memories thrown back in my face. I sat down and tears started streaming down my cheeks. All he could do was just sit there and look at me with his longing blue eyes.

"Why are you crying Sara?"

"Because this is painful Grissom I don't want to remember what I used to have." "You are with someone else now and I have moved on." "This is too much Grissom please take me home."

"Sara, I brought you here because I have something very important to tell you." "I love you Sara I always have; I thought that when you left you didn't want to be with me anymore so I pushed you away." "If I had only known Sara I would have come home a lot sooner."

"Grissom you cannot just change your mind like that!" "You proposed to Heather Grissom remember you promised to love her and marry her." "I have to go Grissom this can't happen now take me home please."

I got up and ran to the door I opened it up and headed to the car. Before I could reach my destination a hand came out of no where and whirled me around. Grissom grabbed my shoulders and pulled me close.

"Sara, did you not hear me I said I love you! You and those kids are my entire world Sara." "I care about Heather but not the way I love you Sara, I need you I want to be with you." "Please Sara, stay don't go."

"Grissom I can't stay if you don't take me home then I will walk."

I started walking off down the road when again his hands came around my waist this time. He turned me around to him and that is when I saw the tears in his eyes he really did love me didn't he.

"Grissom I have to…. Before I could say anymore my mouth was silenced by a fervent and loving kiss. At first it was soft and sweet and then it turned into flame driven passion. I hadn't felt this much fire since before I left Vegas. Memories came flooding through my mind and suddenly I wasn't thinking anymore my body was doing the thinking. Grissom picked me up and carried me into the house and up the stairs.

The door shut swiftly behind us suddenly passion lit into flames. Clothes were ripped off one another and left in a tangled heap on the floor. Again he picked me up and took me to the bedroom.

He threw me down on the bed and lay down beside me. Passion ignited and one thing led to another we were completely out of control. Before I knew it the passion took control and there was nothing left to do but feed the fire.

I don't remember much after the passion but now I lay here in the quiet darkness of the townhouse. Could that have really happened? It was hard for me to believe that the man that I had loved my entire life loved me also. I was so afraid that he would regret what had happened. Did he break it off with Heather just because of the kids? Or did he really love me?

In my mind I kept telling myself it was all a mistake. But in my heart I knew that I loved him very much. I decided it was time to go. I had made enough mistakes for one night. So I quietly gathered my clothes got dressed and tip toed out the door. I again called a cab to come and get me a block away. If it was a mistake I couldn't face him in the morning it was better this way quick and less painful.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen Thinking it over

I finally reached the hotel suite at seven a.m. I could hardly believe what had happened between Grissom and me. I didn't know that he would react that much to the news of finding out about the twins. It was very shocking to me and I was still not sure how to feel or what to think.

I figured I better just take it slow and easy and not read into things too much. One thing I knew about Grissom is that sometimes he would retreat back to his inward shell and shut everyone out. I wasn't used to him being so open about his feelings like that. It was a strange occurrence and I didn't know how to take it.

I started fixing breakfast and I heard Christopher crying for his bottle so I got his diaper changed and started feeding him. He was about six months old he had huge brown eyes like Greg but his hair was very blond and stuck straight up in the air he was such a cutie. I missed the kids being little like this babies had been a lot better than I had thought they would be.

Time had flown by so fast. I started thinking about what it would have been like to have Grissom there when the twins had been born. He had missed out on so much of their lives already and I knew it was my fault that he had. I tried not to blame myself but I knew that I had to no one else to blame. I couldn't blame Grissom for moving on with Heather life had been hard on all of us since Warrick had died. All of us had lost a huge part of our family and we all dealt with it in different ways.

Finally the twins were up running around and playing with each other. They were such good friends it was really fun to see how they interacted with Christopher Maddy was playing peek a boo with him and Max was making silly faces at him and making him giggle.

"Momma can we have a baby too? Maddy asked."

"Well Maddy not right now I think that we have the perfect family just the way it is you have Max you don't need anyone else."

"What about Daddy, when can we see him again? Max asked."

"Well whenever he calls then I guess we can invite him over for a pool party how does that sound?"

"Yeah! They both shouted and ran off out to the balcony to watch the other guests swim in the pool."

Just then my mother walked in and looked completely exhausted.

"Sara, I am going to be flying home tomorrow, I know that you have to stay here with Christopher until the end of the week but I am burnt out I am too old for all of this activity."

"That's okay mom I understand we should be home by next week. "Don't worry Mom I really appreciate all of the help you have been I couldn't have done it without you."

"Okay Sara, thank you for such a lovely trip I really had a great time too but I am ready to get back home now I miss the ocean."

"I know I do too it will be nice to be home soon."

"Well Sara, I am going to go take a nap so why don't you and the kids go for a walk to the park I am sure they would like to play on the play ground?"

"Thanks mom, that is a great idea plus we can get some fresh air."

"Get some sleep mom you look like you need it."

"Well being a Grandma is harder than it looks but I love them anyway." "See ya at dinner Sara."

"Okay mom see ya later."

My mom had been so nice to help out whenever I needed it. I didn't know what I would do without her. I had always been lonely without her while growing up. I always hated her and blamed her but now after having my own kids I can completely understand how she felt. I would protect my own kids to the death also it made me think of my mother in a much better light.

I gathered the twins up and put them in the stroller and I put Christopher in his car seat and we headed off to the park. It was such a beautiful day so warm and sunny just what we needed. The kids were playing nicely together while Christopher napped quietly in his car seat. He was such a good baby Greg was very lucky to have him as his son. Just then a large boxer came bounding up to me and started jumping up and down as if trying to get my attention. He looked so familiar he looked like Hank but I couldn't be sure. Just then Grissom walked up and hollered at him to get off of me.

"So you still have Hank huh?, I said."

"Yes Sara, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know I just figured that after you got involved with Heather you wouldn't want him anymore."

"Sara, I love him like my own furry son, granted sometimes he acts like I clown but that doesn't change how I feel about him." "Plus he has always reminded me of you and all of the great times we had together, Grissom replied."

"Yeah he is a great dog Gil; I have missed him a lot."

I scratched behind Hanks ears and he lay down next to my feet. Grissom sat down next to me and watched the twins play together on the play ground. He started laughing as he watched them attempt to play tag and Max had fallen down flat on his face in the sand.

"Wow, Sara they really are growing fast aren't they?" "So what was it like when they were babies?, he asked."

"Well other than they were small and I had to feed and diaper them every two hours for the first six months they were pretty great." "The first smile and first steps were worth all of the pain."

"I wish I could have been there to see all of that stuff, I feel left out they are so big now."

"Look Gil, I should have been honest with you from the start. I am so sorry about not telling you sooner I hope that one day you can forgive me."

"Sara, I already have forgiven you don't worry everything is going to be okay. I just have a lot of catching up to do."

"Thank you Gil, you don't know how nice that is to hear." "So what are we going to do about last night it got pretty out of control?"

"Sara, I agree I am sorry I came on so strong I don't know what to do yet but I do know that I miss you."

"Gil, what about Heather are you just going walk out of her life forever?"

"I don't know Sara; I have a lot of thinking to do. I promise you will be the first to know when I make my descion."

"Well Gil, I hate to say this but I don't want my kids anywhere around her I hope that you can understand how I feel."

"Sara, how can you say that she is a wonderful person Sara, she would never hurt the kids."

"Well then you can forget about the kids and me because I refuse to let her become a part of their lives. They only need one mother and that is me."

I knew that I was being selfish but I did raise them and I didn't trust Heather as far as I could spit. I got up grabbed the twins hands picked up Christopher and wheeled the stroller out of the park. No one was going to tell me what I could or couldn't do with my own children not even Grissom. I wanted him so badly to be a part of our lives but I just didn't see how Heather fit into the picture at all.

I heard Grissom yelling at me from down the street so I just kept walking but this time even faster. I was done with his mind games after what happened last night if he didn't know what he wanted then I was gone. I had been hurt one too many times and I was not going to let Max and Maddy get their hopes up only to be shot down. So I ignored his pleas walked into the elevator and up to the suite and slammed the door behind me.

Luckily the kids had all fallen asleep on the jaunt home so I gently lifted them out of the stroller and put them in my bed to take a nap. I fed Christopher again changed his diaper and rocked him back to sleep. I started thinking about how good things could be if Grissom would let it happen. But then reality comes back to haunt you and you get hurt again. I have to admit I was tired of fighting I couldn't take anymore I too was ready to go home back to San Francisco and back to the comfort of my plain and simple life.

Grissom called four times over the next few days and showed up on my doorstep once. I didn't answer the door I knew it was him but I didn't want to fight anymore it wasn't worth it the kids and I were both happy we had made it this far without him and I am sure we would be just fine now. At the end of the week Carrie and Greg came back from the honeymoon and picked up Christopher. I was so jealous they looked so happy together they had such a nice family I wished I could have someone like Greg too. But my man needed to get his head out of his ass and finally decide what he wanted because I could not endure any more of his crap.

The next day we packed up the stuff put it in the car and had a long journey home. We finally reached the house and I felt so relieved it was so nice to finally be home in my own house and sleep in my own bed again. So I put the twins down to bed and crawled in my bed and drifted off in an endless slumber. Hoping that maybe tomorrow would be a better day than today.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Sixteen Coming Home

It had been a week since I had been home and things had been going very smoothly so far. I started back to my teaching and my mother took care of the kids during the night as usual. We had decided to take a trip to the beach today because the weather was nice and warm again. I still hadn't heard from Grissom. I figured he was angry at me for leaving again with no goodbye. He didn't even know where we lived although I did let him know my phone number.

We packed our swimming stuff got the sun block and headed out to the beach. I was sitting there watching another family playing in the sand. They were a family of four they also had a little girl and little boy the only difference was that their children had a mom and a dad. I was starting to feel guilty for picking up and leaving Grissom with nothing not even a note. I know that he deserved to know his children but I couldn't bear to have Heather around them. I just didn't trust her.

Max and Maddy came up to me after playing in the waves and they started making a sandcastle while sitting next to me.

"Momma, where is Daddy? I thought you said we could have a swimming party with him, Max said."

"Oh Max, I know what I said but Daddy isn't here right now he has a lot of work to do at his job he is a very busy Daddy."

"Will we ever get to be wiff him again momma, Maddy asked?"

"Yes Maddy someday you will, he just has to find his way to us Maddy it is up to him if he wants to be with us."

"Daddy doesn't wuv us does he Momma? Maddy cried."

"Now you wait just one minute Butterfly Daddy loves both of you very much don't ever doubt that okay? Sometimes life is tough being an adult is not easy guys. Mommy and Daddy both love you very much but Daddy has a girlfriend that he lives with and he is happy with her it's okay for him to be happy Maddy. Just because he doesn't live with us doesn't mean that he doesn't love you."

"Okay, Momma but I wish he would come and see us Maddy added."

"Me too Maddy, Me too I said."

We packed up our beach stuff and headed home. The kids were unusually quiet I knew they were thinking about him. It must be hard to see other kids spending time with their father's when they didn't even really know theirs. All I could do was hope and pray that one day I could swallow my pride and do the right thing for Max and Maddy. Whether Grissom and I were together or not they deserved to have a father and be happy.

Another few weeks went by and nothing seemed to change I had started emailing Grissom pictures of the kids hoping that he would get the idea that I was okay with him being in their lives. Although I still hadn't received any response back I had been very mean to him what did I expect?

I woke up the next morning feeling very sick. I felt like I had a fever and I was coughing and taking chills. I didn't want to get Max and Maddy sick so I sent them over to my mom's house until I got better. The last thing I needed was twin two year olds with strep throat. Life was miserable when you didn't feel good. I remembered Grissom's recipe for chicken noodle soup that he used to make for me when I was sick and I made it.

I started reading through all of my old journals that I used to keep and looking through old photo albums. Boy did I have it bad I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Mom came by to check on me again for the third time that day and was very concerned my fever was almost 105 and it was not going down. I was having extremely hard time breathing. I felt like crap.

"Sara, I think that you need to go to the hospital you look like death warmed over, my mother said."

"Mom please, just give me a few more days I will be okay don't worry."

"Alright Sara two more days and that's that if you are not better by then you are going whether you want to or not."

"Okay Mom, I promise I will go if I don't get better I just need a little more time."

My mom again left and took Max and Maddy with her. I was missing them terribly life meant nothing without them. That night it got harder for me to breath but I was stubborn I refused to go to the hospital.

I hated hospitals the smell, the look everything about them reminded me of death. I got so weak that night that I thought I was going to die. I still didn't call my mom I was just too stubborn for that. Finally I couldn't hold on any longer and I passed out into an eerie sleep.

I know that I was passed out cold but I could hear what was going on around me. I felt someone lift my lifeless body off the floor and throw me into an ice cold bath. I awoke suddenly and started screaming and shaking all over I felt like an Ice cube frozen to death. Who would do that to someone as sick as me? Didn't anyone just have the decency to leave me alone and let me sleep?

Before I knew it I felt two very strong hands sponging cold water over my lifeless body. Then I heard the familiar voice it was Grissom what was he doing here?

"Sara, come on honey wake up! You are burning up! Sara can you hear me? Grissom said."

I could hear him loud and clear but I was too sick to open my eyes or even speak.

"Oh baby come on don't do this to me not now, Come on Sara stay with me."

I felt completely breathless I could hardly breathe. I hurt everywhere my whole body was aching and shaking. Then without a second thought Grissom Wrapped me up in a warm robe towel dried my Hair and carried my lifeless body out to his Tahoe.

"Sara, I am taking you to the hospital now whether you like it or not." "You could die what were you thinking letting yourself go for so long? He asked."

I could still hear him faintly but I couldn't respond I was too far gone to care about anyone or anything at that moment. I don't remember when I woke up but I could hear the faint beeping of monitors surrounding me. Where in the hell was I?

This wasn't my nice warm bed this was an ugly white room and I had needles and tubes sticking out of my arms. I couldn't remember why I was here.

Then I opened my eyes and scanned the room. There in the corner of the room was Grissom sitting on the visitors couch holding the twins in his arms. They were all sleeping soundly. They all looked so peaceful together Maddy and Max did look so much like Grissom it was almost uncanny. Then from the other side of the room I heard my mother's voice softly talking to me.

"Sara, your awake finally I didn't think you were going to make it. "You really scared me Sara why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know mom, I didn't think I was that sick plus I was so tired I couldn't even think straight."

"Sara you had a severe case of the flu you ended up catching pneumonia you are lucky that you are still alive." "It was touch and go there for awhile."

"How long have I been here mom? I asked."

"You have been here for seven days Sara. I called Grissom to come and help me out with the kids because you were so sick. I figured he would want to know what was going on with you also."

"Mom you shouldn't have called him without asking me first."

"Sara, you didn't leave me any choice you were on your death bed. You have him listed as next of kin so if anything happened to you he would get the kids."

"Oh yeah I forgot that I did that. Look mom, I am sorry I should have gotten into the doctor sooner."

"Yes Sara, you should have I am just glad you are going to be okay."

"Me too mom."

The doctor quietly walked in and started checking my vital signs. Grissom woke with a startle when Maddy's hair tickled his chin.

"Hey there sunshine it is good to see you finally awake. You even have a little color in your cheeks now Grissom replied."

"Gil I am so glad you came, I am sorry that I left without saying goodbye. It was just awkward and I didn't know what to say or think."

"Sara, everything is going to be fine now don't worry I am not mad at all. I have had seven days to myself with these sweeties and I am not leaving them anytime soon."

"I am glad to hear that Griss really I am but don't make any promises that you can't keep okay."

"Fair enough Sara, Now come on Max and Maddy lets go downstairs and get you some lunch and let the doctor check mommy out okay."

"Alright Daddy, they replied.

"Momma I am so glad you aren't sick anymore Max said."

"Me too buddy now go with Daddy Mommy is going to be just fine." "Go get filled up okay."

They all just laughed at me and Grissom and my mom took the twins downstairs to get something to eat.

"Hi Sara, I am Dr. Mack I have been overseeing your care since you have been here." "You had a very bad case of pneumonia you could have died Sara, I need you to promise me that you won't let anything like this go again?"

"I promise I won't Doc I am just glad that I have such a great family."

"You do indeed Sara; they haven't left your side the whole time you have been here. Especially that husband of yours he has been sitting by your bedside every moment you have been here. Your kids are adorable by the way."

"Actually Doc he isn't my husband he is just a close friend of the family but he is a great man."

"Sara, your kids call him Daddy and they look like him too he is the father isn't he?"

"Yes Doc he is the father we haven't gone out romantically for over two years."

"Well Sara I find that hard to believe because I found something else out too." "I didn't want anyone else to know until you did first because I didn't know if you had told anyone yet."

"What news Doc? I thought I was getting better."

"Sara you are getting better but Sara you are pregnant again with twins I might add." "You are two months along already I thought you already knew."

"Pregnant? How in the Hell could I be pregnant I haven't even seen him for over two months." "Oh wait I remember it must have been that night."

"Shitt what am I going to do Doc?"

"Well Sara, I would say that you need to start taking it easy, taking prenatal vitamins and be prepared to be a mommy again in seven months."

"Thank you Doc you make it sound so easy."

"Well Sara, you can't change anything unless you want to talk about abortion?"

"No, Doc I could never do that I love my other kids so much I am just shocked that's all this was totally unexpected."

Dr. Mack finished writing out the prescriptions that I needed and left me alone to Waller in my misery. What was I going to do now two kids is one thing but four under the age of three? This was turning out to be a night mare. Why is it every time Grissom and I were together he always deposited such a wonderful gift inside of me?

I didn't know how I was going to break the news to him. He was just getting used to be a father of one set of twins. Could he handle more? I didn't know but I did know that I didn't want to do it alone anymore. I had to tell him and soon. Because sooner or later the secret was going to pop out on its own whether I liked it or not.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter eighteen getting it out in the open

I had stayed in the hospital three more days and then Dr. Mack permitted me to go home. Grissom had taken care of the kids the whole time I was in the hospital he had done such a great job that it seemed like the kids had totally forgotten about me. I knew they hadn't but sometimes it is hard to share the love for someone when you are used to having all to your self.

Grissom came and got me that afternoon. I was so sick of hospital food that I couldn't wait to get home and eat anything as long as it didn't come from a hospital. The kids and I walked through the door of our old beach house. It looked like a tornado had come through and ripped the place to shreds. Just then I heard a loud bark and a slobbering boxer came and almost knocked me to the ground. "Hank down boy take it easy I replied." "Grissom what in the hell have you done to the place?" "It looks like something out of a horror movie."

"Sara, I'm sorry the kids and I have been having so much fun that I didn't think to clean up." "But don't worry I promise I will have everything spic and span in no time."

"Grissom part of being a father is keeping things clean, neat and tidy are you sure you are up to this?"

"Sara, I am fifty one years old and I only found out two months ago that I was a father of twins." "I am handling things the best that I know how." "Hank has been having fun to the kids kept feeding him everything."

"Oh so that's why he is so fat, I thought he was pregnant or something." I patted his head and just started laughing. Taking a second look at the kids was a hilarious site. Standing in front of me were two little toddlers dressed in completely mis matched clothes they both had on unmatched shoes and Maddy's hair looked like a birds nest. They looked like little hobo's food caked on their faces. Then I looked at Grissom even as a mess he was an adorable site. He too had ruffled hair he looked like he hadn't shaved in three day's and he had dark circles under his eyes. His clothes were rumpled and not the usual neatly pressed as they used to be. But somewhere under the mess he looked completely different. The old sparkle had returned to his eyes his laugh lines had come back around his cheeks. He looked completely and utterly happy for the first time in almost three years.

He continued to stare at me and that is when I lost it. I fell onto the couch in a laughing fit he probably thought I was crazy or something. He just continued to stand there at stare at me curiously with his jaw dropped slightly. I again sat up took a deep breath and tried to compose myself.

"Sara, what in the Hell is so funny he asked?"

"Oh Gil, look at all of you! Look at the kids look at the dog?" "You actually look like you were having a good time and enjoying it too." "Ten years ago I never thought I would come to see the day when you would just let loose and have a good time."

"Your right Sara, I haven't ever been this happy or this tired I might add." "But Sara, the kids are wonderful they make me feel whole and complete." "I feel like a teacher again with two little students who devour everything up that I say and do." "I never in my whole life would have thought that being a father would cause this much happiness."

"Yes Gil, you are right becoming a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me." "It makes me feel like a kid all over again." "It brings a sense of completeness to life that I have never felt before either."

At the moment time could have stopped and I would have been utterly happy. Grissom came over and pulled me into his arms and we just held each other while the little hobo's continued on their destructive streak with a happy boxer following closely behind.

Grissom and I cleaned up the house together while the kids watched a movie on television. When we finished we found them both curled up on the floor on top of Hank. All three of them were sound asleep so Grissom quietly picked up Maddy. I picked up Max and we both tiptoed up the stairs to the nursery and placed both little hoboes' in their beds for some much needed rest. Hank crawled in next to Maddy and fell happily asleep.

Grissom and I walked back downstairs together and started fixing a late night snack.

"So Sara, are you happy to be home? He said."

"Yes Gil, thank God I don't think I could take one more minute of that death trap." "I am just glad that you were here to help." "The twins need you more than I thought."

"I need them to Sara; I have missed you all terribly." "Things were never the same after that night." "It made me really stop and think Sara." "I don't know what I would have done if you would have died." "You really scared me you know." "Your mother called me and was panicking I thought I was too late when I finally got here." "I will never forget holding your hot lifeless body in my arms." "Sara, please promise me you won't do anything that stupid again." "When you are sick go to the doctor okay?"

"Gil, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking." "It was foolish of me to do that to all of you and the kids." "I was just miserable without you." "After I left nothing for me was the same either." "That night just confirmed my true feelings." "Gil, I still love you very much I have missed you so much the last few years." "Am I too late?"

"Sara, I don't know what to say, Heather and I are still together." "I didn't think you wanted me back, I rushed here so quickly I didn't even tell her where I was going."

"Gil, do you still love me? Or is that part of our relationship over?" "Because it sure felt like you loved me that night that we spent together." "We weren't intoxicated or anything."

"Sara, of course I still love you I will always love you." "That isn't the problem, I am just wondering if we can still be happy together so many things have changed and so much time has gone by. "You keep leaving me Sara, I am afraid to give my heart back to you because I never know when you are just going to run and take it away again." "It took me over a year to even get over it the first time." "But that doesn't mean that I don't want to see the kids and spend time with them." "They are rightfully mine to Sara as well as yours." "We can share custody you know."

"Fine Gil JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE THEN!! I DON'T NEED YOU GO BE WITH YOUR TRAMP IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT JUST LEAVE ME AND THE KIDS ALONE!!"

He looked at me completely flabbergasted. I hadn't expected that kind of reaction from him. I thought that he was here for me as well as the children I loved him very much too much to share him with another woman especially that woman. The thought of her hands all over him made me sick. I ran up the stairs in tears and quickly started retching over the toilet. Great just great what a good time to go and get pregnant. Why did I always pick emotionally unavailable men who were too dumb to see what was staring them right in front of their face. I heard Grissom knocking on the bathroom door that I had shut and locked behind me.

"Sara, please let me in we need to talk this out rationally like two adults."

"No go away Gil get out of here I don't want to see you ever again. There is obviously nothing left for us to talk about."

"Fine Sara, I give up I am leaving but don't think that you won't be hearing from me again soon. I am never leaving those kids again you understand I love them Sara." "They are mine too."

I heard him packing his things up and then I listened as the door slammed behind him. I was completely heart broken had I hurt him too much that he couldn't trust me anymore. Now here I was again pregnant and again they were his children. I was petrified to do this alone. I didn't want to do it alone again. I came out of the bathroom and looked around everything was neat and back into place. It looked like he had never been here. I missed him so much my heart ached for him. Just when I thought he had gotten everything I spotted a note taped to the refrigerator in his familiar handwriting it read:

My Dearest Sara, I am so sorry for the way I have treated you. I am completely confused Sara with what to do. I feel that I must say that Sara I have never stopped loving you.

Every waking moment my thoughts fill of you and the kids. So much so that I am retiring from the Lab this year. I yearn to spend every moment with you and those kids.

But Sara, I am frightened I have also been hurt the last few years. My heart was completely shattered when you went away the first time. Then again when you came back and announced that I was a father not only to one but to two beautiful children that I have never known of.

These thoughts still trouble me. I have no memories of their birth or their first smile or of their first step. It is hard to just walk away from my old life in Vegas and begin a new one to a woman whom I don't know if she will stay with me or not.

I have never loved Heather the way I love you Sara. I have never truly given my heart to another woman since I gave it to you. You own my heart Sara. But Heather has been a faithful companion she has never left my side and continues to support me in every way she can.

All I can say Sara is if you truly want to be with me then I ask that you marry me Sara, Make an honest man of me and let me have your heart forever as you have mine.

This is the only way I can be with you Sara; I will continue to wait for your answer. I have already spoken with Heather about my feelings and I am no longer with her.

If you choose not to marry me than I will still continue to love you but from a distance and I will see the children as often as I can. I decided that the children need Hank more than I do. So I left him with you Sara just another promise that I love you.

Take good care of him and the kids Sara I hope to hear from you soon. I love you and will forever love you,

Love always,

Gil

I couldn't believe the words that he had written on the paper. Gilbert Grissom did love me and he wanted me to be his wife. It was like the ending to a fairy tale. I was frightened of my feelings I wanted to be there for him and make the same promises to him that he made to me.

I walked up the steps and ran into my bedroom and snuggled under the covers to think about the long journey that I had to make. To become happy yet again with the love of my life. I drifted off into a peaceful slumber uncertain of what lay ahead in my future.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen making a difficult decision

Deep down inside I hadn't wanted Grissom to go. I was missing him terribly. It always seemed like just when things are getting better they got worse for me.

Max and Maddy's third birthday was coming up fast and their one request was that Daddy would come. I kept asking them what they wanted for their birthday but Daddy was their only reply.

My two year olds seemed very angry at me at the moment and I didn't blame them. Hank had been moping around too.

I had forgotten how nice it was to have a dog around it was fun taking him down to the beach and watching him chase a ball in the waves.

I had a difficult decision to make was I going to quit being selfish and open my heart or was I going to keep things as they were and keep being my selfish self.

I didn't know if I was ready for marriage it was a big step for me. However it could be a step in the right direction too. Was I ready to make that commitment and give my heart back to Grissom?

Did I trust him enough to let him into my life? In his letter he told me how he felt about me and the children and that he would only be with me if I could settle down and make a commitment to him not to run away again.

My problem wasn't with giving him my heart my trouble was opening up to him and letting him see all of me. I was so good at hiding my feelings at putting on a façade even my kids knew it.

I had been hurt so many times throughout the past that I was actually afraid to let something good happen. Pain seemed like my best friend whether it was physical or emotional.

I think that is why I hadn't gone to the hospital when I had gotten sick pain didn't bother me as much as it should.

I knew that I needed to stop running away from my problems and start facing them head on that was the only way life was going to get any better for me.

That was exactly what I had done when I found out I was pregnant the first time. Instead of facing Grissom and telling him the truth I chose to hide myself away and waller in misery. I decided that I needed someone else's opinion besides my mother's Catherine had always given me great advice and so that is whom I decided to call.

So I dialed the phone and waited patiently for her to pick up on the other end. If anyone else knew Grissom as well as I did it was Catherine I knew she would know what the right thing was to do.

"Hello, this is Catherine what can I do for you?"

"Cath, its me Sara how are you?"

"Sara is it really you?" "You sound sad what's wrong?"

"Well Catherine I don't know if Grissom told you anything about what is going on but I need a little advice."

"You know Grissom Sara he keeps to himself unless I beat it out of him." "Lately he has been shacked up in his office doing paperwork as usual."

"Catherine Grissom asked me to marry him and while I am excited that he asked I am petrified of how to answer." "What should I do Catherine?"

"Sara, I can't tell you what to do that is up to you. Although I do know that the two of you have a long history together and two beautiful children." "What more could you want Sara?"

"I don't know Catherine I am just afraid of making a commitment, plus I am afraid that he is in love with Heather somehow."

"Well Sara I can already tell you that is not true after he got back from seeing you the other day, Heather marched in here to see him and was very angry. She was mad that he left without even telling her. "He blew up at her I mean screaming, yelling the whole caboodle." "I have never seen him that angry before Sara." "He told her that he loved you very much and that he had every right to go and see you when you are sick." "He also told her about the kids and she was not too pleased." "He said that he didn't feel the way she felt about him and that he loved you Sara and that he wanted to make things right with you." "He told her to leave and to get the hell out of here." "She left after throwing his stapler at his head."

"Is he okay Cath, She didn't injure him did she?"

"No Sara, luckily he ducked just in the nick of time. "But she did break his glass jar with the fetal pig inside." "He was not very happy at all about that." "You know how much he loved that pig."

"Wow, Cath it sounds like a real showdown. I knew he loved me but I didn't know he felt that strongly about me." "Sara everything changed when he met those kids one look at them and you can see how much he loves them and you." "He has never been the same since you left." "Please Marry him Sara take him away and never let him go." "Lock him up if you have to I can't deal with his anger and issues anymore." "It is time that you take care of him and give him the love that he needs and deserves."

"You sound like you are talking about him as if he were a child Cath."

"He acts like a child Sara. Instead of just fessing up and telling people how he feels he pouts and mopes around like a little five year old who doesn't get his birthday cake." "Personally Sara I am sick of it." "It's time that he got his head out of his ass and started acting like a grown man with kids." "I bet your kids act more grown up than him sometimes, I know Lindsay does."

"Your right Catherine we both are acting like a bunch of babies." "I am sorry that I put you in middle Catherine." "Thank you for your advice though it was very much needed." "I have my answer now I know what to do finally."

"I hope so Sara, because I can't take anymore of his fits now why don't the both of you grow up get married and eat some damn cake of your own." "Quit pouting and being selfish your kids need you Sara."

I started laughing hysterically I could see Grissom shacked up in his office pulling the silent treatment. He had a way about him when he would pout he looked just like Maddy when she was angry and didn't get her way.

I Sara Sidle was ready to bring my Grown up Grissom home and teach him how to be a dad maybe we could both learn something together. I know it couldn't hurt to at least try what did I have to loose.

"Sara, I have to go now but I do hope that you and Grissom can work things out and when you're ready to get married let me know I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Thank you again Catherine for being a great friend I really needed that pep talk." "I think I will take your advice and don't worry I will send you the first announcement when the time comes." "Bye Catherine."

"Goodbye Sara, give the kids a kiss for me."

I decided that I was going to write Grissom the much needed answer that he yearned for and hopefully get a reply back:

Gil hi it is me Sara; Look I am sorry for acting like such an idiot the other day. You are right I have not been treating you right for some time now. I should have faced you when I first got pregnant instead of waiting two years.

I can't even begin to imagine how much pain that you are feeling. I only hope that you can forgive me and we can move forward with out relationship in a responsible way.

Gil I love you no matter how much I say it or think about it the truth always comes out I love you. The other night that we spent together was the happiest time I have felt in over two years. We created those two butterflies out of a passion that I have never felt with anyone else before. I am so lucky that you are their father and I am so grateful Gil that you chose me to be the bearer of your gift. As for an answer to your question that would be a definite yes Gil. I want to be your wife. I have been so stupid not seeing what was right in front of me I am ready to give you my heart fully Gil and share my life with you in every way possible that I can imagine. All I ask is that you be patient with me. I have been hurt so many times that pain is too familiar to me. I am tired of the pain Gil I am ready for a lifetime of happiness. I realize that nothing and no one is perfect and though we may fight and argue sometimes I think deep down love really can conquer all.

Anyway I look forward to becoming the Mrs. Grissom in your life and hope that I can live up to your expectations. I also have to tell you the exciting news Gil. We are expecting another set of twins Gil! It came as a complete shock to me I had no idea until the doctor told me at the hospital I decided to be straight forward with you this time and just let the cat out of the bag. Anyways I hope that you get this soon and are not mad at me for being pregnant it wasn't planned but it could be just the news that we were looking for.

Both of the children have been such a blessing in my life that two more is just an added bonus of blessings. The twins are having their birthday party in a week they want you to be there as do I. I hope you can make it Gil. I love you and my heart now belongs to you and only you. You are my one and only I will always love you, hope to hear from you soon,

All my love,

Sara and the four little ones

I folded the paper up put it in the envelope sealed it stamped it and sent it on its way to Vegas. Now the only thing I had to do was wait and waiting was going to be one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I only hope that I can make it.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter twenty A birthday to remember

It had been a week since I sent the letter to Grissom and I still didn't have a reply. I was very disappointed and frustrated with the whole thing. I was trying hard to be happy for the twin's sake it was their third birthday today and I wanted it to be one that they would remember.

I invited everyone to come Catherine, Nick, Greg, Brass, Grissom and even Riley the new girl. I didn't expect everyone to come but I did want the twins to feel like it was their special day and I wanted them to be happy.

It was the last week in June I was three months pregnant now and the weather was beautiful. I was busy setting up tables outside to eat on.

My mother was helping put the table cloths on while the twins were swinging on their swing set. They looked so happy together it was hard to believe they were already three years old.

I had just started getting into sewing outfits for my kids it was fun and a much cheaper way of dressing them than buying everything. I made Maddy a purple and white checkered sundress with a big purple bow that tied in the back and I had done her curly brown hair up in pig tails with purple bows also.

For Max I made a matching purple and white checkered button up shirt and jeans that he could wear so that he could match Maddy. They looked so cute together and they had been very excited that morning to open their new birthday clothes as a special gift from me.

We had been tight on money since I only worked part time at night. Luckily our house was completely paid for it had been my mother's old house while she was growing up and my Grandmother had recently passed on so we decided to move in and make it our own. It wasn't a large house but it had four bedrooms two bathrooms and a kitchen, living area and nice sized dining room.

I was already getting the second guest bedroom ready to be another nursery for my newest additions and I decided that I was going to be excited one way or another.

Whether Grissom chose to show up in my life or not I had a responsibility to take care of my children and I was going to make the best of it.

I had been to the doctor again and had heard the heartbeats he said everything looked perfect and that I seemed to be healthy and so did the babies. I had carried twins once before so I figured I could do it once again without any problems.

Dinner was cooking in the oven I was making Max and Maddy's favorite vegetarian Lasagna with garlic bread, and corn on the cob for the sides.

The kids insisted that they only wanted one cake to share which I thought was weird but if it saves money then all the better. When I asked what they wanted the cake to look like they said that they wanted worms and Butterflies on it so I bought gummy worms and plastic butterflies for the cake and Oreo cookies I was going to make a chocolate dump cake they called it. It looked like dirt with bugs on it. Of course the dirt was Oreo cookies and the bugs were gummy worms for Max and Plastic butterflies for Maddy. The cake turned out absolutely adorable.

I didn't used to be such a home maker but when you have two kids and only a part time job you learn to do things the fast way. Mothering hadn't come easy to me it had been a real struggle at first. But with enough patience and love I was blossoming into a fine cook and seamstress. My mother showed me how which also helped from first hand experience.

I liked doing things the old fashioned way, we got our milk delivered to our door our eggs I picked up fresh from the local farmer down the road and we went to Wal-mart for the rest low prices is always better. It wasn't easy surviving on a teacher's salary but somehow we managed.

I didn't expect Grissom to pay child support after all I hadn't even told him about the kids in the first place so that was my own fault.

After and hour of getting everything ready I saw my first guest arrive at the back gate it was Catherine she had brought Lindsay with her and she had two big huge gifts all wrapped up and ready to go. I walked up to the back gate and opened it up. Catherine looked beautiful as always she looked like she was ready to party.

"Hey Sara, the yard looks beautiful so how long have you lived in this house it's very nice."

"Well, we have lived here about a year and a half. My Grandma died last year this used to be her house and now we are looking after it."

"Well everything looks great where are the kids at I can't wait to see how big they have gotten."

"They are out in back playing on the swing set they are going to so excited to see you also go ahead around that way."

"Thank you Sara, if you need any help just holler."

Catherine and Lindsay walked into the back yard and started playing with the kids. I put the two gifts on the table that I had set aside for gifts. Boy with Aunt Catherine around my kids were bound to be spoiled.

Next person to show up was Jim he was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts with flip flops I didn't often see him dressed like that I hardly recognized him.

"Wow Jim you look comfy, I hope you are ready to party because the kids are so excited they kept me up all night long."

"Yeah Sara I sure am ready to party more like relax though. I haven't had a decent day off in almost two years it was nice to go on a trip and see those beautiful children of yours."

Brass walked around back and I heard tons of giggling coming from Max and Maddy. IT looks like Grandpa Jim aka the tickle monster had struck again. It is hard to believe that even though my friends were not related to me they were as good to me as any family could be.

The next guests to arrive were Greg, his new wife Carrie and their son Christopher. Greg was carrying Christopher in his car seat and they walked up to the back gate.

"Wow, Sara it looks like you are having a Luau out here you did a great job decorating." "It all looks just beautiful." "By the way you have a beautiful house."

"Thank you Greg, I appreciate you coming all the rest of the guests are out back so go ahead and go take a seat. "I am just going to wait here until I think everyone has come."

I didn't know if anyone else was going to show up Nick had said that he was going to try and make it if he could get the time off. Riley had already told me that she wouldn't be able to come. But I still did not see any sign of the one man who was supposed to be one of the most important people there.

Grissom hadn't called nothing he was their father after all and I thought that he would understand how important this day would be for the twins but maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was just too much hurt for him to make it.

I was just about to give up when I saw Nick walking up to the gate with Mandy and their little boy he was a year old and looked just like his mother they called him Nicky jr. He was completely adorable. Finally another kid for Max and Maddy to play with.

"Hey Nick and Mandy its good to see you again, so how is everyone doing?" "Your little guy sure has grown since the last time I saw him."

"Yeah he is growin like a weed Sara, You look beautiful as always so where are the Birthday munchkins at? Nick asked."

"They are out back enjoying the party go ahead I will be out there in a minute I just need to get dinner out of the oven."

"Sara, this is really great of you having us all here, it sure is nice to visit and see where you live."

"Thank you Nick I really appreciate that. It is nice to have the family all here."

"So where is Big Daddy at? Hasn't he shown up yet? Nick asked." "He was talking about it all week he was so excited to see the kids again." "He even asked me what to get them said he didn't know what kids liked."

"I hope your right Nick because if he doesn't show up I know two little kids who are going to be completely heart broken."

I waited for fifteen more minutes and still there was no sign of Grissom so I decided that we were going to have to start the party without him.

Everyone was seated outback chatting away. It was so nice to see my family there I felt loved for the first time in a very long time.

No one not even my mother knew that I was pregnant again. I had hoped that Grissom and I could tell everyone together. Maybe that is why he didn't come. Maybe he was mad because I was pregnant who knows all I know is I for the first time was truly lonely without him by my side.

Dinner started and Max and Maddy rushed up to me and were telling me all about everyone who came and how excited they were to open all of their gifts. I thought that maybe they had forgotten about Daddy coming but to my dismay that was indeed not the case.

"Momma where is Daddy I thought he was coming? Max asked."

"Well, son he was supposed to be here almost an hour ago but he still has not shown up. I am truly sorry Max I did try don't worry everything will be ok."

"No it won't be okay Momma, I wanna see daddy right now he promised Maddy cried."

"I am sorry Maddy I picked the teary eyed little girl up and continued to serve dinner to the rest of the guests. I felt truly let down. How on earth could their own father not show up to their birthday party.

Finally after everyone was served I set Maddy down next to Grandpa Jim and he started tickling her again she started to smile I knew at that moment that she would be okay. I however was not and I walked into the house and stood in the kitchen and the tears started to flow.

I was extremely hurt had he done this to get back at me for all the times that I had hurt him? I didn't know but I knew that I was sad and angry. Catherine walked into the kitchen and took me by the arm and led me back out to the party. I sat down next to her and started to eat.

A few minutes later I heard Maddy gasp her eyes were huge like she had seen a ghost. There in all his glory stood Grissom dressed up in a pinstripe blue suit with a red tie. In his hands he carried a huge boquette of Balloons red and blue there must have been at least ten of them.

In the other arm he held and adorable Golden retriever puppy with a large red bow around its neck. He was clean shaven had a new hair cut and looked like a million bucks. I started crying instantly. I stood up and just stood there for a moment our eyes locked and then he mouthed the words. "I love you Sara!" Maddy squealed and he set down the puppy. As the Maddy ran the puppy ran to greet her.

"Oh Daddy you got us a new puppy to be Hank's best friend."

"Yes Maddy I did happy birthday butterfly."

"Thank you Daddy she is so cute I think I will call her fluffy is it a girl daddy?"

"Yes Maddy it is a girl how did you know?"

"Because Daddy there is a pwetty ring tied to the bow on her neck only girls wear rings Daddy your silly."

"Your right Maddy but that ring is for a very special girl indeed."

"Who Daddy?"

"That ring is for your Mommy do you want to give it to her?"

"Oh yes Daddy, she will look so pwetty with it on."

Maddy walked over and gave the ring to me my eyes doubled in size it was an engagement ring it was breathtaking a one carat diamond on a platinum band beautiful yet simple just how I liked it. Maddy and Max started running and playing with Hank and Fluffy.

Grissom Walked over to me and tied the balloons to my chair. Then he got down on one knee in front of everyone and took my hand. I instantly started crying. I had been waiting my whole life for this moment and now that it was finally here I was completely surprised.

"Sara, you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever met other than our beautiful daughter. You have always been there for me as a friend and a lover. Now will you do the honor of joining me as my wife?"

"Yes Grissom, Yes I will be your wife I love you so much I can't think of a more perfect way to start our new adventure together." "Thank you Grissom for the honor of letting me be the mother of your children and now to be your wife I am completely honored to take part in this new adventure of ours together." My heart is yours if you will take it Grissom."

"Thank you Sara, I already have."

Then he stood up and pulled me close I looked into those handsome blue eyes and saw all of the love that I had become a reality. I had never felt such love for one man in my whole life. To finally be with him completed me. Then he ran his hand through my hair and without warning kissed me. I started to tremble in his arms he wrapped me up tighter and kissed me even deeper then I felt my knees buckle. He picked me up and sat down on the chair and put me in his lap. Everyone started clapping and cheering as we sat down together then he whispered something in my ear that made me smile.

"So we are having more babies I take it?" I shook my head yes at him and smiled.

He took his hand and placed it lovingly over the slight swell in my stomach. Then I whispered back to him.

"Are you happy about all of this even that I am pregnant." He whispered back.

"I am ecstatic Sara if they turn out anything like the first ones we are in for a real treat." "Does anyone else know yet? He whispered."

"No but I would like to tell them today if you are okay with that I whispered back."

He shook his head yes and then he stood up and grabbed my hand.

"Excuse me everyone he said loudly. "Sara and I have another announcement to make." "We are expecting another set of twins we are very happy and they are due six months from now Happy Birthday Max and Maddy."

Everyone looked at us again in disbelief but they all congratulated us and wished us well. After the cake and ice cream and all of the presents were opened everyone went to my mother's bed and breakfast where they were staying the night.

Grissom and I cleaned up the two Butterflies and got them ready for bed they were exhausted after a long day. So we put them to bed Hank jumped in bed with Max and Grissom lifted Fluffy in with Maddy.

Finally we were alone after such a long and crazy day.

"So are you ready to start this journey together? I asked Grissom."

"What did you have in mind he replied seductively?"

"Well the kids are in bed so if you are a good boy and keep quiet I might just let you share my bed tonight?" "Sound like a plan?" I raised my eyebrow inquisitively.

"Yes my dear that does indeed sound like a great plan."

Without warning he picked me up kissed me soundly and carried me up the stairs to my bedroom we shut the door softly behind us to not disturb the sleeping munchkins.

Grissom lay down next to me and started kissing me more passionately than he had done since the night we had conceived the second set of twins. I was so wrapped up in the kiss I didn't realize that he had taken my shirt off and thrown it across the room.

Soon there were no clothes left and all that lay in bed were two adults who were very much in love with each other. This by far had been the most perfect birthday ever I only hope that there will be many more to come.

I am trying to keep this rated so that anyone can read it so I hope nobody minds anyway there will be more. Have fun and enjoy.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter twenty one getting to know you

Grissom and I were now living together he had sold the townhouse in Vegas and we had moved everything into my house on the beach. I added his name to the title. We were preparing for our wedding which was going to be on the beach. Max and Maddy were both very excited about having their Daddy around all the time. They were also excited about the babies coming.

We had decided that we were going to wait to go on our honeymoon until after the twins were born. I had been feeling very tired and run down. The morning sickness was finally starting to go away.

Grissom had also accepted a teaching position at the college on the night shift the same time as me. He was teaching a class on Forensic Entomology he seemed very happy with his new job and his new life.

That night after my class I just didn't feel well. I started having contractions which scared me since I wasn't due for four more months. I hoped that they were only Braxton hick's contractions but I wasn't sure. I walked into Grissom's classroom just as he was cleaning up. He looked up from his desk and looked concerned.

"Sara honey you don't look well what is going on?"

"Gil, I don't feel good I feel like I am having contractions I think that I might want to go to the hospital and get checked out."

"Okay just let me grab my briefcase and let's get you out to the car."

He grabbed his briefcase and walked me slowly out to the car. I was feeling very faint and weak. Just as I was about to climb in I fell back into his arms and passed out into the darkness. I don't remember the ride to the hospital but now here I sat in a Labor and Delivery room hooked up to baby monitors. I looked around for Grissom and Saw him sitting in the chair next to my bed.

"Gil, what happened? Are the babies okay I asked?"

"Yes Sara the babies are fine, you are anemic Sara they are going to have to put you on Iron supplements, you were going into premature labor so you now have to be on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy."

"Gil, there is no way in Hell I can stay down in bed that long isn't there any other alternative?"

"I'm sorry Sara, but those are the doctor's orders you are to only get up to use the rest room and take a shower other than that you will have to stay in bed."

"How am I supposed to take care of Maddy and Max?"

"Sara I am going to be there with you every step of the way. Plus your mother is going to be with you in the evenings to take care of the kids while I am teaching. I will be taking over your class for the meantime. "You are officially on maternity leave Sara."

"Oh Gil, this is awful I hate staying in bed what am I doing to do I will get so bored? "Well honey I will get you plenty of movies, books to read and crossword puzzles. Don't worry time will fly by in no time."

"Yeah right, whatever Gil, I just hope that I don't end up killing myself in the process."

I knew that Gil and the Doctor were right but that didn't make the news any easier to hear. The thought of staying down in bed twenty-four hours a day for the next four months made me sick to my stomach. I would just have to spend lots of quality time with Max and Maddy and make sure that I didn't go insane. Gil took me home that night and I began my long four months of hell. I was upset we were going to have to postpone the wedding. But at least the babies were okay and I hadn't miscarried them. I was glad they were still alive and kicking inside of me. What a fun life this was going to be at least I had the man of my dreams there beside me to help me through this difficult time.

Note from the author: I am the mother of a set of twins myself plus I am a twin also. I had to stay down for seven months of my pregnancy after getting abrutio placenta it is hard and miserable. I thought I would incorporate some of my reality into the story. Anyway I hope everyone enjoys there will be more to come. Take care and keep reading

csiweberaz


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter twenty-two Scared stiff

I had been on bed rest now for exactly three months. I was doing very well and I only had one more month of my pregnancy to go. Grissom had been working in the evenings teaching an entomology course and my Forensic Science class. My mother came, fed the kids dinner, and put them to bed every night.

I was so sick of being in bed that I felt like running five hundred miles and never stopping. Grissom luckily was a good cook. I hate to say it but I was never so sick of home cooked food in all my life. I yearned for a veggie pizza or even a hamburger from Wendy's yes I was craving meat from a fast food restaurant. One cannot understand how much they miss something until they cannot have it anymore. 

I felt like a huge hot air balloon ready to blow. The babies moved constantly never giving me an ounce of peace. I knew that these two kiddos were going to be a handful. Max and Maddy had never moved this much when I was pregnant with them. I wondered what I was in for.

The kids had changed so much in the last three months. I never thought that having a daddy would change them so much but it has they absorb everything he teaches them. Maddy walks around the house in an old lab coat that Grissom gave her and pretend glasses. 

I asked her the other day what she was and she replied in the cutest three-year-old way she said. "Momma I'm an enema." She said it so seriously I could not help but laugh. Luckily she did not know what an enema really was but she did try I have to give her credit for that. Then I replied, "You mean you are an entomologist?" Then she said "Yeah Momma I'm a bug girl like daddy." "Shh keep quiet don't tell the bugs or they might run away."

Maddy was exactly like Grissom in every way. She was very serious one moment and then the next she could have me laughing in hysterics. Then she would give me that Grissom smirk with the one eyebrow raised and just stare at me as if I was crazy.

Max on the other hand was a total boy. He loved riding his trike, playing in the dirt, and kicking a ball around outside. He was not much interested in science he was more of a sports fanatic. He loved soccer, baseball, and football. Luckily, Grissom was at least good at baseball I could not teach him if you paid me to.

Grissom was getting nervous about the birth of the babies he had gone to baby's r us and bought car seats, Cribs and strollers. He was in the process of painting the nursery yellow and covering the walls with bugs. I told him this time he could do whatever he wanted with the nursery as long as it looked nice and either a boy or girl could sleep in there. 

We still did not know what sex the babies were the last three times we had tried to find out the babies kept their legs shut to not reveal their true identity. At first, it had been frustrating but now since we already had two kids one of each sex it did not really matter one way or another. The only thing that mattered is that they were both healthy.

It had come time for my weekly visit to the doctor Gil, had dropped me off and said he would be back to pick me up in two hours. The doctor's appointment had gone surprisingly well. The babies were doing well although I was still having contractions I had gotten used to them by now. The doctor figured that I would be due to deliver anytime now since twins usually come early.

I was just getting ready to call Gil when a hand caught me from around behind. A female voice whispered quietly in my ear to not turn around and keep quiet. I could feel the cold hard steel of a gun being shoved into the side of my head. I reluctantly obeyed. I would protect my babies to the death.

I had no idea who this woman was but her voice sounded very familiar to me. She seemed to be about my height and clearly in a bad mood. Why did these things always have to happen to me? At that moment, I really hated being Sara Sidle. A serial killer had kidnapped me, I had been held up at knifepoint by a lunatic in an insane asylum and now here I was eight months pregnant being held up at gunpoint by some crazy woman.

Soon we got into the parking garage of the hospital. No one was out there that I could see. If only I could scream for help and then run. I clearly wanted to protect my babies but I had had just about enough of crazy people trying to take my life away from me. 

She shoved me close to her car and told me to get in just at that point; I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had been trained in weaponless defense it was now or never I thought. I took my elbow and rammed it hard into her ribs. I heard her groan in pain. However, before I could make my get away she grabbed me again by my arm and twisted me around she told me to stop or she would shoot. At that point I did not care I just wanted to get the hell out of here. 

Therefore, I tried to run again, that is when I heard the loud POP, and all of a sudden, my side was on fire. I knew that I had been shot. Yet as stupid as I was I continued to run as fast as my legs could carry me. 

Warm blood started trickling down my side but I still ran. I then heard another loud POP this time I felt a searing pain shooting through the back of my thigh I instantly fell to the ground in pain I could no longer run she had successfully detained me.

I felt like my life force had been taken out of me I was burning with pain my side and leg felt like they were on fire. Just then, the strange woman came and huddled over me. 

"You had to run didn't you? She said." "You always make things harder than they are Sara, why can't you for once just listen to what someone says to you?"

How in the Hell does she know my name I thought? She must have been following me for how long I did not know. What did she want with me? Was she a stalker? Was she out to take my babies away? What could this awful woman possibly want with an eight-month pregnant woman such as me?

Just then standing over me, she took the black mask off her face. Long dark hair came tumbling down around her shoulders. She had beautiful large dark eyes that were full of anger and big pouty lips. Though I was dizzy, I instantly recognized her. It was Heather Kessler Grissom's old Fiancée.

"Did you really think that I would just let you walk away and take everything away from me Sara?" Come on Sara, you have to know me better than that no one betrays me and gets away with it. "I was with Gil, for two years Sara. If you just thought that you could come waltzing in and take away my love and life from me just because you had children well you were dead wrong." "Gilbert was mine the second you took off Sara." "He will be mine again soon after I deal with your little situation here."

Heather bent down and grabbed me by my wrists. I struggled to become free from her grasp but I had lost too much blood I was too weak to fight her anymore. The next thing I knew I was being dragged through the parking garage towards her car and then I was lifted up and thrown in the back seat. My hands were tied behind my back. My mouth was duck taped shut and my ankles were bound by duct tape. The last thing I remember was looking around to find the car moving before my world plunged into an eerie darkness.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter twenty three vanishing

This chapter has some pretty graphic violence so just a warning it is nothing too bad but I just wanted to warn people before they read it. The story will get better life is never easy and I find trials only make the heart stronger in the end.

I awoke I don't know how many hours later, I was out of her car now and I was sitting under what appeared to be the docks by the ocean. I could hear the waves lapping against the shore. I could smell the salt in the air. I was still bleeding a bit but it had slowed down immensely from what it had been earlier. I saw Heather walking up to me.

"So you are finally awake it is about time. You have been unconscious for almost twelve hours." "I didn't want it to be that easy for you."

My mouth was still duct taped I could not answer only merely nod my head. I was scared stiff I had no idea what she was going to do with me. Just then I felt the babies both move. Thank God they were still alive.

"Sara, this is how it is going to go I am going to torture you and then leave you for dead." "Don't worry I plan on taking your babies with me at least Gilbert can give me that much of himself. He will never find you Sara, not in time anyway. He needs to pay for how he has made me suffer." "He lied to me you know, He told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me." "Well he clearly loves you Sara, he always has he couldn't ever stop thinking about you even after we got engaged." "I was a fool to think differently." "But now I will have his children and raise them as my own." "It's a fair trade off don't you think?"

I wanted to shout, scream, punch her anything but I couldn't all I could do was just sit there and watch and listen as she explained her devious plan. I couldn't help but think of all of the things I was going to miss. Watching Maddy and Max go to school go on their first dates and Graduate. I wasn't even going to meet my newest additions here I had carried them for eight long agonizing months only to have some psychopath come and take them away from me.

I would miss Gil so much he truly was the love of my life I had loved him from the first time I had met him. We had been through so much together and yet we had somehow made it through even the toughest of times. Tears started to trickle down my cheeks I was so afraid for the first time in my life I felt completely and utterly helpless.

Just then she came toward me with a knife and completely tore my shirt off my back. She pulled out one of her gory whips and turned me over on the soft sand. It was then that I felt the sharp burning pain searing through my back as she whipped me over and over. I wanted to die I couldn't help but give up. The pain was more than I could bear. I felt my hot burning flesh I screamed each time she whipped me again and again. My cries were muffled through the duct tape. She finally stopped and turned me over on my back again. She just stood there and stared at me with her dark evil orbs.

"Have you had enough yet Sara?" "Well this is just the beginning we are not even close to being done." "I am going to go and get something to eat I will be back in awhile don't run away now." "Don't worry it will all end soon enough."

She tied me to the log pole of the dock and I sat there quietly in the dark my whole body burning with pain. I didn't know if I could keep on fighting the fight. I really just wanted to go to sleep and never return. I felt the babies' move yet again, this time the contractions started yet again but this time they were hard and fast. I knew what labor felt like and here I was stranded under some dock in the middle of nowhere miles away from anyone or anything. Great why did things have to happen like this for me if only I could get a hold of Grissom?


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter twenty Four Heart Ache

I was sitting there waiting for Heather's dreaded return. I was in so much pain and the labor was coming fast if I didn't get help soon it would be too late. I was searching frantically for a way out when suddenly about a foot away from me I saw my cell phone it was sitting in the sand. She must have forgotten to pick it up. I knew right then and there that the phone was my life line perhaps a way out of this evil hell.

I mustered all the strength I had and pulled with as much force as I had to free myself from the rope which held me to the dock. Nothing happened now I just had a severe rope burn around my wrists. Next I started to dig my feet into the sand hoping for some miracle that the sand would loosen the duct tape which held my legs together. At first it seemed pointless I was breathing hard trying to maintain some sanity through the pain of my contractions when suddenly the tape came loose and fell from my feet. Now if I could only reach the phone with my feet. I struggled to pull the sandals from my feet allowing my toes to help aid my cause of reaching the phone.

With one final stretch I was able to grasp the phone with my long toes. I pulled the phone closer to me and held it close to me between my knees. I knew that Grissom was on speed dial number one if I could somehow manage to dial with my toes I might just be able to get out of here. I let the cell phone slip between my knees and I grabbed the phone again with my feet and opened it up. Next I took my big toe and punched as hard as I could the number one and then I pushed send. To my surprise I could faintly hear it ring I knew that if I didn't put it on speaker phone he would never hear me. Again I punched the button that turned the speaker on. Just then I heard Grissom's voice he sounded frantic and full of worry and concern. I immediately started to cry.

"Sara are you there?" "Where are you honey?" "I can't hear you Sara?" Come on speak to me! Grissom yelled into the phone.

This time I took my feet and tried desperately to get the tape off of my mouth I rubbed my toes in the sand hoping that it would loosen the stickiness of the tape. Before I knew it I had managed to uncover my mouth just enough that I could talk… I knew that I didn't have any time to waist who knows when Heather would show up again.

"Grissom, it's me! I yelled." "I'm in labor Heather kidnapped me Gil, I have been shot you have to hurry before she kills me."

"Sara, slow down honey take it easy so I can understand, Where are you baby?" He said.

"I don't know Griss all I know is I am tied up under a dock somewhere along the beach; I don't recognize anything I feel like I am in the middle of nowhere."

"Sara, just stay with me honey keep talking we are tracing your GPS signal right now I will be there soon baby I promise."

"Gil, I don't know if I can make it? It's all my fault I should have never of broken you and Heather up. I am such an idiot."

"Sara, don't you ever say that you hear me now come on stay with me baby just breath take it easy I am coming Sara stay with me."

"I'M trying Gil but the babies are coming and soon you better hurry, I'm bleeding bad Gil."

"Don't give up Sara you hear me! I love you Sara, more than anything I love you."

"I love you too Gil, you and the kids so much I am going to miss you Gil."

"Sara, come on don't give up yet I am almost there we got your signal Sara I'm Coming. Just hold on a little longer please Sara!"

I could hear him pleading with me the pain was severe. I was bleeding again out of my side and my water had now broken. I knew that I didn't have much longer too live. I loved Grissom and my family so much. I only hoped he could get there in time to save me and the babies. Before I knew it my world again was fading into blackness I could no longer hold on. I passed out cold.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty five The final showdown

Before long I again was awakened by Heather's evil voice. 

"So I see you have managed to get your feet free." "Well don't worry it will all end soon Sara." "Ah I see your water has broken also what a wonderful way to finish it off." "I guess I won't have to perform a c-section after all nature has a way of doing it better itself." Heather replied.

I only hoped that she didn't find the cell phone I had purposely tried to hide it under my feet so that Grissom could somehow find me in this awful place. I only hoped he was on his way because if he didn't get there soon my life would surely come to an end. 

All of a sudden I heard sirens and I saw flashing blue and red lights. Thank God Grissom had managed to find me after all.

"You little witch how did you manage this? Heather yelled at me. "That's it Sara you are done if you think he will ever see you alive again then you are wrong!!

Before I knew it she grabbed my hair and yanked the rope off of my burned wrists. 

"GET UP NOW!! She screamed.

"I can't I am in too much pain! I whined

"FINE IF YOU WON'T GET UP THEN I WILL JUST DRAG YOU!

Without even thinking she grabbed me by my hair and started dragging me towards the ocean. I screamed in pain and I tried to drag me body so that she couldn't move me as easily. If I could give Grissom just a little more time I am sure that he will find me.

Just then I heard the most wonderful sound in the world it was Grissom he had come to save me.

"Heather drop her now or I will have to shoot! He replied coldly.

"No chance in hell Gil, I would rather die than let your little bitch go!" She said.

"Heather since when did life get this bad?"

"Since you left me Gil, and took away everything! You promised to marry me and love me forever what a lie!"

"Heather I have always loved Sara, I am sorry that things happened the way they did but I have a family now and a future." "You can have that too Heather just let her go please he pleaded."

"No way Gil that's it she is gone!"

"No Heather put the gun down come one lets talk about this!"

Before I knew what was happening I heard the dreaded pop again and this time I felt it burn right in my chest. That was it the end I could no longer hope to live I knew in that moment I was done for. I held on just long enough to see Grissom yell "NO" at Heather and then he shot her one shot right to the head and she fell.

Time seemed like it was whirling in slow motion Grissom Picked me up and held me close. He ran to the ambulance carrying me in tow. I don't know how I was still alive but I was. Maybe it was love all of the love that I had inside of me was fighting to live for him and my children. I didn't want to die not yet I wanted to stay right where I was warm and comfortable in his arms forever.

I awoke sometime later I was sitting in a hospital room covered in bandages and hooked up to machines. I had an evil tube shoved down my throat so I couldn't talk. I could hear the slow beat of the heart monitor and in the back ground I could hear someone snoring. I looked to my right and there sitting next to me on a chair was Grissom. His salt and pepper curls were tousled just like a little boy he looked so handsome and peaceful as he slept. I couldn't help but just watch and wait in the quiet peacefulness of the evening. 

Then my mind remembered that I had indeed been pregnant that is when I started to panic I felt my stomach and it felt flat my balloon was gone. Were the babies okay? Did they die or did they somehow survive this horrible nightmare? As I listened I looked to my left and there next to my bed were not one but two cribs each held a perfect tiny little infant one had a baby wrapped in blue and the other held an infant wrapped in pink. I had never been so happy to see a baby in my entire life. A girl and a boy! I couldn't believe my eyes had God really granted me this much of a miracle after such a horrible storm?

I looked at the baby wrapped in blue and under his little blue cap were dark brown locks just like his big brother his tiny eyes were shut and he was sleeping peacefully I watched as his little chest rose and fell peacefully. I was trying hard to think of a name for the tiny bundle I decided on the name Gavin Michael Grissom. It was a strong name he would have to have a strong name after surviving like he did.

Then my eye turned to the little girl wrapped up in pink with a pink bow on her head. Again she also had dark curly locks and she looked just like her big sister Maddy it was hard to believe that it had been that long since Max and Maddy had come into my world. I decided to name her Gracelynn Marie Grissom. 

She was full of Grace and love. She was awake and she had blue eyes just like her Daddy she turned and looked at me with her big bright eyes and I couldn't have felt more like I was in heaven then at that very moment. Watching the miracle of life truly is the greatest blessing that I Sara Sidle have ever witnessed


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter twenty six Fearing the best

It had been two weeks since I had woken up in the hospital to find Grissom and my new babies by my side. The doctors didn't have much hope of me living but I proved them all wrong I was doing so much better that they were now getting ready to send me home. I was scared to embark in my new adventure of raising not just two children but now four.

Grissom with the help of Catherine and my mother had managed to take the newest additions home and settle into some form of a routine. Max and Maddy were so excited to have a new brother and sister Grissom had to practically beg, borrow and steal just to get them to go to bed at night. He had told me that they had quit taking naps and for three year olds that is a hard life even three year olds still needed a nap.

I didn't want to admit it to Grissom but I was confused and scared to go home for the first time to an ever changing life. While I loved him and the kids very much it didn't help ease my fear of the unknown. I Sara Sidle had always been one who hid from my fears instead of facing them.

Now that I was facing reality I was scared and shocked all at the same time. I had been held up at gun point, kidnapped, shot and somehow managed to give birth to twins all without remembering it. The last thing I remembered was getting the life whipped out of me and then calling Grissom. After that everything was a total blur maybe it was for the best. At least I knew that the babies were alive and well and so was I it was the greatest miracle I could have ever hoped for. It seemed that every time I had a life changing event instead of enjoying it like normal people do I always manage to be hurt in one form or another. It was now getting to the point that I didn't even know if I wanted good things to happen to me for fear of getting mugged, kidnapped or killed.

Before I could even think there in my room was a large group of people. Grissom was there carrying two infant car seats one carried Gavin and the other carried Gracie they had grown so much it was hard to believe that I had ever carried them inside of me.

Standing next to him holding tightly onto one pant leg was little Maddy boy had time changed her she looked more like her father everyday she was dressed in a beautiful purple sweater and jeans with her hair all up in curls and bows Catherine must have dressed her and done her hair my mom and Grissom could never get her to look that adorable come to think of it neither could I.

Attached to the other pant leg was Max he had on a bright blue polo shirt and blue jeans his dark locks were combed to the side neatly and the little curls stuck out at the ends he looked so grown up and he was starting to look more like me everyday.

Grissom looked completely worn out and frazzled but underneath the overgrown beard and the tousled locks his eyes said it all. The glow of happiness and completeness in his eyes was one thing that I had never seen or recognized I had always dreamed for the day when his look of confusion and frustration would go away and now here he was completely worn out and completely full of love and adoration for his new little family.

Catherine stood next to Grissom she also looked much worn out and tired but happy and beautiful as always. She was dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a red sweater her hair done neatly and her makeup perfect. I had always been a little jealous of Catherine's beauty she was always beautiful inside and out.

My mother stood on the other side of Grissom while she looked happy that the kids were well and fed and that I was alive she looked completely worn out like she could use a long vacation to herself I couldn't wait to get home and relieve her of her mothering duties.

Next to Catherine was Lindsay she looked beautiful also and was busy listening to her ipod like a normal teenager would do. I was excited to see all of them yet in some ways terrified to return to my new life I hated the anticipation of the unknown. I knew Grissom would be there every step of the way and somehow just maybe we could make a life out of this horrible deal that I had been dealt.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty seven facing the Future.

I was now happily settled at home with my new brood. Grissom was still teaching at night. I had decided that it was time to spend my time at home with the kids. Max and Maddy were getting ready for Preschool. Gavin and Grace were three months old now they had grown so much over the past few months. At first I had been afraid to face my new life but now that I had settled down I found the new smiles coming from the faces of my new adorable additions made life ever worth living.

Grissom and I were cuddled up in Bed it was a warm Saturday morning full of Laziness and hope the kind that I loved. We lay entangled in each others arms with a new found happiness that I had never dreamed would happen. I was just about to get out of bed and start feeding the kids when Grissom's large arm wrapped snugly around my waist and pulled me close into him. I could feel his warm breath breathing on the back of my neck.

"Sara, I have something that I need to ask of you? He said.

What is it Gil, I have to get the bottles warmed and started or we are about to hear screaming like you will never imagine!?

"Sara, turn around look at me please this really is important Honey, I have just been trying to find the right moment to approach this subject. He stated.

I turned around I had no idea why men always seem to pick the most obnoxious times to tell women things but that is just how they are I guess sometime's they can be completely unpredictable and totally clueless.

"Okay spit it out Gil what do you want, I chuckled

"Well first of all you can stop laughing it is hard to be serious when you chuckle like that." he said

"I really am trying hard Gil but you just look so adorable when you get into your serious moments looking like a disheveled mess.

"Thank you dear for the lovely compliment, he stated dryly." "Now again as I was Saying Sara, you and I have been through so much the last few months I have really thought a lot about our future Sara, what I am trying to say is "Sara, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Wow, I could hardly believe what was coming out of his mouth it was almost exasperating I was excited yet all at the same time taken by surprise. We hadn't talked about marriage for almost five years and now here he was asking me again.

"Well, come on Sara tell me what do you think?

"Gil, I have to admit I am completely shocked that you still want to marry me but yes I think it is high time that this little family made it official so yes Gil Lets do it!

"Well it is about time that you said that, he said, Look Sara, I love you and the kids so much I just really want a chance to make all of this right there is no going back now not after all of the little miracles we have created together. Gil Said

"I have to agree Gil although you have not asked me that question since five years ago. I said

Just then I pulled the chain up around my neck and showed him the engagement ring that had hung on it clasped close to my heart for five long years.

"Sara, I can't believe that you still have that? He questioned

OH Gil you know I could never get rid of something that important to me, I have always loved you Griss from the first moment we met it was like a fire ignited inside of me I could never stop loving you.!

At that moment he turned over and grabbed his wallet off of the night table next to him and opened it up and there inside the pocket of his wallet he pulled out his plain simple silver band that I had given him five years ago.

"I kept mine too Sara, I have always loved you and I will never stop babe never.

Tears streamed down my cheeks it was at that moment that true happiness invaded my soul for the first time in a long time I felt utterly complete and happy. I pulled him close to me and I kissed him with as much passion and fire as I had ever had before in my being. We made love that morning it was a joining like never before. Then somewhere in the quiet hum of the morning I heard two little giggles followed by two babies screaming however I had never felt so utterly happy hearing those noises come from my four precious children and I had never felt so much love coming from one sleepy man.

We now had a Wedding to plan and I hope that it will be the biggest bash the world has ever seen!


End file.
